Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make a piece in your master game plan Free from the earthly temptation below I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door All the departed, dear loved ones of mine And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
Tux.: (Facetime is a use full tool, I can call my wife before I leave the gym after my two hour workout and see if she wants me to come back home yet.) (ding) I suppose that now, we can return to our usual life of pleasure, my love beyond measure?
C.: Not so fast, Tucker. I don’t know where you’ve been for the last two weeks, and I was worried sick! You didn’t call me, you didn’t text me, IM me, email me, write me a letter, or yowl loudly enough that I could hear you from where you were! You didn’t even try to contact me through mental telepathy. That’s not how marriage goes. I’ll need an explanation and an apology before I let you move back in with me and my fourteen kittens at my human mom and dad’s, who are on yet another cruise’s house.
Tux: I was preparing for the cat fight with Tom. I didn’t tell you what I was doing because I didn’t want you to worry.
C.: And you almost let T. J. and me get clobbered because you were late for the cat fight. You’ll need to make a really good apology before we can resume our marriage.
Tux.: (Yes, I suppose I will). Okay, Cal.E. I’ll return to my former bachelor pad for now, but I’ll return with an apology you won’t be able to refuse. I won’t let you dropkick our marriage through the goalposts of life. (Now, to come up with the ultimate apology).
( I'll think while I drive my catmobile to Wayne Manor. My dad got a good deal on it when Bruce died and his son disappeared).
What would a queen cat want me to do in this situation? I’m not a queen cat, and I’ve never been married before. Queen cats think differently from Tom cats. I know I’ll…no, that won’t work. She’ll see through that. Just throwing money at a problem like this will only be a temporary solution. I know, I’ll…no, that won’t work either, but I’d sure like it! I really need some help, and, YES! THAT’S IT! I’ll call d.c. and make my plans. I’m sure he’ll be willing to help a fellow married fellow.
d.: (ring) Hello, this is d.c. scot, correctional nurse, author, blogger, and sometimes Elvis Presley channelor. How may I be of service to you today, my good ma’am or sir?
Tux.: Hi, d.c., it’s me, Tucker Tucker Two, and I need your help.
d.: Oh, hello, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname). How may I be of service to you on this fine late summer day in Southeast Texas that feels as if we're in a fiery, humid furnace?
Tux.: Actually, it’s the last thing you said that I need to help me.
d.: I beg your pardon, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname). Why would you want my help in getting into a furnace, pay tell? Are you suicidal, or just trying to cool off, since the furnace will probably be cooler than our current temperature.
Tux.: No, the next to the last thing you said, then I need you to channel Elvis because I want you to…
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner to see what Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) has in mind for the love of his life (that would be me).
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