By: Jimmy Buffett
1973
Lookin' back at my hard luck days
I really do have to laugh
Workin' in a dive for twenty six dollars
Spendin' it all on grass
We were hungry hard-luck heroes
Tryin' just to stay alive
We'd go down to the corner grocery
This is how we'd survive
Who's gonna steal the peanut butter
I'll get the can of sardines
Runnin' up and down the aisle of the Mini Mart
Stickin' food in our jeans
We never took more than we could eat
There was plenty left on the rack
We all swore if we ever got rich
We would pay the Mini Mart back
Yes sir! Yes sir!
We would pay the Mini Mart back
It was a two man operation
Had it all down on a note
Ricky would watch that big round mirror
And I'd fill up my coat
Then we'd head for the check-out aisle
With a lemon and a bottle of beer
Into the car, got to make it on home
Suppertime's getting near
So who's gonna steal the peanut butter
I'll get the can of sardines
Runnin' up and down the aisle of the Mini Mart
Stickin' food in our jeans
Never took more than we could eat
There was plenty left on the rack
We all swore if we ever got rich
We would pay the Mini Mart back
Yes sir! Yes sir!
We would pay the Mini Mart back
I guess every good picker has had some hard times
I sure had my share
It's really kinda funny to laugh at 'em now
But I don't want to go back there
So every now and then when I'm in the grocery
I'll take a little but not much
'Cause you never know when those hard times'll hitcha
And I don't want to lose my touch
So who's gonna steal the peanut butter
I'll get the can of sardines
Runnin' up and down the aisle of the Mini Mart
Stickin' food in our jeans
We never took more than we could eat
There was plenty left on the rack
We all swore if we ever got rich
We would pay the Mini Mart back
Yes sir! Yes sir!
We would pay the Mini Mart back
Yes sir, yes sir
We would pay the Mini Mart back
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jimmy Buffett
d.: Cal.E., I like Jimmy Buffet as much as anyone, but that’s a strange song’s lyrics to put at the beginning of our blog. Why did you choose that song?
C.: Because Jeffrey Epstein is still alive, and the name of the song is THE GREAT PEANUT BUTTER CONSIPRACY!
d.:???!!!
C.: Bear with me. You know how much Elvis liked peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and you saw him when you were on vacation last year. You said that he, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Freddy Mercury, Jim Croce and Bob Marley were all on an island off the coast of the Carolinas making the best music ever played; but the island doesn’t register on anyone’s GPS devices or radar.
d.: Okay, but what does that have to do with Jeffrey Epstein being alive?
C.: Well, just like the musicians I just named, Jeffrey Epstein faked his own death.
d.: ???!!!
C.: I overheard two inmates talking last night, and what they said made a lot of sense. They said that Epstein didn’t commit suicide. Even you think that’s true. Well, you think the guard who came out of retirement was sent to kill him because he knew too many secrets about too many important people. That’s inaccurate, d.c.
d.: ???
C.: You see, that guard wasn’t sent to kill Mr. Epstein, but to help him fake his own death and then escape. He still has access to all of his money. He made up and assumed name for the beneficiary of all of his accounts and life insurance. He’s now collecting that money under that name while he stays on that island with the aforementioned musicians.
d.: Why is he doing that, Cal.E.?
C.; Because he’s trying to collect enough cash to finance a comeback tour by the musicians on the island they’re all on. If he takes out $10,000 or more, though, it will alert the IRS, so he’s just collecting small amounts of his own money until he has enough to finance the comeback tour of a lifetime.
d.: I see only one problem with that theory Cal.E.
C.: What’s that?
d.: How on earth do they plan to get off the island? If it doesn’t register on radar, they will have no way of being able to navigate the boat they’re on. They’ll probably land somewhere in the middle of the ocean, and no one will ever see or hear from them again.
C.: Oh, contraire my fine friend. Ghost boats can navigate without radar. That’s how they all got to the island they’re on now! It just takes a little bit of knowledge to navigate those boats, because they are pretty much self-driving.
d.: So, where is the gas coming from for the boat?
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
d.: Wait! Maybe it’s a nuclear powered submarine! Those subs can go for fifty years without refueling. That’s how they got to the island, and how they’ll get off of it. And, if it’s a nuclear powered submarine, no one would have seen them when they left the mainland! I’m going to start monitoring my computer now to see when the concert dates are! I want to be the first one to buy a ticket to the greatest concert ever staged!
C.: I can take care of that for you, d.c. Just let me have your credit card…
d.: We really are out of time for today now. Please join us tomorrow at the same place and at about the same time for Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comentários