That's great, it starts with an earthquake Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes And Lenny Bruce is not afraid … Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn World serves its own needs Don't mis-serve your own needs Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength The ladder starts to clatter With a fear of height, down, height Wire in a fire, represent the seven games And a government for hire and a combat site Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry With the Furies breathing down your neck … Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped Look at that low plane, fine, then Uh oh, overflow, population, common group But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light Feeling pretty psyched … It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine … Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline … It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone) I feel fine (I feel fine) … It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone) … The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right … It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone) … It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone) … It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone) … It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
Source: LyricFind Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
d.: (ring) Well, Cal.E.’s taking a while to answer her phone, so I’ll let my mind wander while the phone rings. If pets help lower one’s blood pressure, as has been scientifically proven, should people with low pressure not own pets? Maybe those whose blood pressure is below an acceptable level should adopt teenagers. That would increase anyone’s blood pressure. (ring)
And why, when I’m trying to quantify something, does my autocorrect drop the last “o” in too? It’s too confusing for some people to be able to tell the difference between the three forms of this word, but those who write programs for writing should know the difference. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m one of two people who know the difference between the three forms of the word to (or is it too? Or maybe two? Perhaps it’s 2?). (ring) Oh, I hi, Cal.E., I didn’t think you were going to answer the phone.
C.: I’m sorry I’m late, d.c., but I’ve been dealing with the most destructive force known to the world.
d.: Why were you taking care of the puppy?
C.: Because I wanted to give Mom and Dad a belated anniversary present, since I had to work on their actual anniversary.
d.: How did you communicate to them what you were doing?
C.: Like the old Nike ads said, I just did it. I had some trouble putting her in her kennel. Having opposable thumbs would have helped, but my toenails did the trick.
d.: Cal.E, by “taking care of the puppy,” did you mean that you just put her in her kennel and left her there?
C.: Oh, heavens no, d.c. I’m not that irresponsible. First, I gave her a treat…
d.: What did you give her?
C.: Well, I thought she might enjoy some peanut butter…
d.: Did it have xylitol in it?
C.: That’s funny, the vet asked the same question. He said he would need to pump her stomach if it did. She’s a trooper, though. When she got back from the vet’s offie, we played a game of fetch…
d.: In the front yard, where she could get hit by a car if the ball went into the street?
C.; I suppose that’s why Dad came running outside and commandeered the ball. He made us both go inside and take a bath. Then we played hide-and- seek…
d: Cal.E., cats are notoriously good at that game. Sometimes it’s a few hours before I can find either of my cats. Fortunately, they’re old enough that Eudora and I don’t worry about them too much when we can’t find them. They eventually show up. Especially if it’s dinner time. However, not being able to find the puppy probably worried your mom and dad.
C.: Yes, they looked all over the house for her. She hid really well, though. She was under one of the beds, so no one could see her, except me. I convinced her to come out when I told her that we were no longer playing hide and seek. I’m glad I know Dogma.
d.: Then what did you do?
C,: I ran back to base and won the game. I told her that she lost, so she must go into her kennel for the night…
d.: At four-thirty in the afternoon?
C.: Well, yes. I suppose I should have let her out to defecate and urinate, and given her some food and water before I locked her in her kennel. At least Mom and Dad know where she is, though. That was helpful.
d.: I suppose it would be if you could actually tell them where to find the puppy. I suppose that, since I speak their language, I should go and tell your mom and dad where they can find their new puppy, so that’s all for today, folks.
C.: Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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