Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job
So I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job
But he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few
I'll be writing more in a week or two
I could make it longer if you like the style
I can change it 'round
And I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
If you really like it you can have the rights
It could make a million for you overnight
If you must return it you can send it here
But I need a break
And I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
Paperback Writer lyrics © Iricom US Ltd, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
C.: Thanks for letting us read the first five chapters of THE MAGRUDER MYSTERIES MURDER 8: THE INERT INGREDIENT d.c. I have a question, though.
d.: What’s that Cal.E.?
C.: Well, English isn’t my native language, so correct me if I’m wrong. Isn’t a question an interrogative statement used to derive information?
d.: Yes, Cal.E., it is. So, what is your interrogative statement that you’d like to use to derive information?
C.: Well, you’ve put several excerpts from different manuscripts of yours. How do I get excerpts from my book in this blog? After all, the blog is named after me, and I do want to be a paperback writer and write paperback novels badly!
d.: (I’ve read her first book. I think she might have already accomplished that). Well, I guess it would be okay to do that, provided it’s well edited and doesn’t have any vulgar or suggestive language in it…
C.: Never mind, then. Anyway, you have a couple of bites for your book. How do I get some for mine?
d.: First, compose a query letter. Then rewrite it about one-thousand times, until you come up with a book description, comparative titles, and an impressive paragraph about your writing credentials.You must not use more than 250-300 words to do this, though.
C.: Well, I wrote a book. That’s impressive, isn’t it?
d.: Twenty years ago, yes. Now, not so much. You could sit down and type ten pages and call it a book and send it to Amazon, and it would be published. That doesn’t mean that it would sell any copies, though.
C.: How would I sell copies of my book?
d.: I would think that billionaire tycoon Ted Turner had a good idea. His motto is: late to bed and early to rise. Work like hell and advertise.
C.: But advertising costs money, and I spent all mine trying to win Tucker back.
d.: Well, I guess you and I should try the same method, then. Use word of mouth. It’s slower, but more effective than any other form of advertising.
C.: Okay, well, I think my manuscript may need some polishing before I do that. What do you suggest?
d.: I use a process. I write my manuscripts five times. Some of what I put in here isn’t a finished product. The first draft is an extremely rough draft. Just vomit words onto the page, to get the idea out of my head…
C.: I can do that. I’m a cat. Cat’s vomit a lot.
d.: Not literally, Cal.E. I just mean to put down everything that comes into your mind. Then, go back and edit what you’ve written. Delete unnecessary stuff, add some other stuff and move some stuff around. Then, the third time, I totally rewrite the manuscript. Not word for word, but just move a line, a paragraph, or a chapter that fits better someplace else, or should be deleted from this manuscript. You’ll need to tie that portion to the place you moved it to.
After the third time, I send it to my editor. She tears the script apart piece by piece and sends it back to me.
C.: And then you’re done, right?
d.: No. Then, I read her comments, make decisions about what she has told me and make whatever changes are necessary.
C.: And then send it to an agent?
d.: No, then I fine tune it. If I don’t like what I see, I start the whole process over again.
C.: That sounds like a lot of work!
d.: It’s not work if you enjoy what you’re doing…
C.: ???!!!
d.: Work is a four letter word that implies displeasure. I put a lot of effort into my manuscripts, but it has never been unpleasant.
C.: It would be unpleasant for me if I had to do that much work on my manuscript!
d.: Ernest Hemingway rewrote the ending to his classic novel A FAREWELL TO ARMS forty-seven times.
C.: That’s a lot more than two, I gather.
d.: It is. The amazing part is that some people considered that book to be a semi-autobiographical account of Hemmingway’s life. It’s odd that he would write the ending forty-eight times, if he already knew how the story ended. I suppose that he was a perfectionist.
C.: And so am I, when it comes to nap time and dinner time. Right now it’s both, so I’ll bid you farewell.
d.: Good night, sweet princess. Parting is such sweet, sweet sorrow..
C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks, please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments