When are you gonna come down?
When are you going to land?
I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my old man
You know you can't hold me forever
I didn't sign up with you
I'm not a present for your friends to open
This boy's too young to be singing
The blues, ah, ah
So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough
Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh, I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road
Ah, ah
What do you think you'll do then?
I bet they'll shoot down the plane
It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics
To set you on your feet again
Maybe you'll get a replacement
There's plenty like me to be found
Mongrels who ain't got a penny
Sniffing for tidbits like you
On the ground, ah, ah
So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough
Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh, I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road
Ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Bernard J. P. Taupin / Elton John
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road lyrics © Tratore, Universal Music Publishing Group
C.: If I can help d.c. find those calculations, I can send them to ELAC via mental telepathy. We are mirror personalities, so I should be able to do that. If I send the calculation with my brain, no one else will be able to get them. Then ELAC can use the calculations to send the family who adopted me on POTT-C in the only spaceship on her planet to earth where I can take care of them, after she communicates with my ex-husband on POTT-C. I telecommunicated with him last night, and he has forgiven me. He’s willing to help me do this. Since he’s the king of the planet, he should be able to get my family on that planet here after ELAC picks them up in her spaceship. The planets are in the same galaxy, so it’s only a few lightyears from one planet to the other.. She’ll need to stay here when she brings my old family to earth, but that will get her away from the evil Dr. Buddy Bones. She’ll be safer that way.
My old family won’t have a cottage on the yellow brick road, like on HTRAE, but they should be able to adjust to the atmosphere here, since I was able to. It will be safer than staying where they are, that’s for sure. I’ll walk next door and see how d.c. is coming along with finding those calculations.
“Hi, d.c. Have you found those calculations Yet?”
d.: Let me stop pedaling my bicycle on my trainer. I had to change a flat before I started working out and, what were you asking me about?.... Oh, yes, the calculations. I haven’t found the sheet of paper, but I should be able to replicate the formula from my memory. Now, let’s E= MC squared. No, that’s not it. The speed of light is 186,000 miles per second squared, so, if I can go that fast, I can make time stand still. Then, I would be immortal, but that’s not the right calculation. Hmm. A squared + B squared equals C squared, but only in a right triangle. No, that’s the pythagorean theorem.
C.: (Hoo, boy. This could take a while. d.c.’s has the information from so many college courses stored in his head that this could take all night. It’s amazing that he’s not a doctor or something by now, as many college courses as he’s taken. I’ll just look around myself and see if I can find that sheet of paper).
d.: Oh, now I remember! I put that sheet of paper in a safe place, where I wouldn’t lose it!
C.: And where is that, d.c.?
d.: Hmm. No, it’s not in there. I’ll go look in my truck. I often put important papers in my truck so that I’ll see them while I’m driving to work or the store or somewhere else. I just need to remember what I’m looking for until I get outside.
C.: (I don’t like the odds that he’ll do that. d.c. has never had the best memory in the world, and he’s getting older now. Age affects human’s brains. It looks like it’s up to me to find those calculations. Where would d.c. put something that was important, but he didn’t want anyone else to see? I know where I’ll look. Eureka, I found them!! Now, I’ll communicate telepathically with my mirror twin ELAC on HTRAE and she can communicate with my ex-husband, Tom. He’ll go and find the kind family that adopted me when I was a stray kitten on the Planet of the Talking Cats, and then put them in a spaceship to come to earth with ELAC. She’ll need to alter her route a little, but not much. When my old family gets here, I can return their kindness. There’s just one more thing to do…
d.: Oh, Cal.E., can you tell me why I walked out to my truck? I remember that I was supposed to look for something, but I forgot what it was.
C.: Never mind, d.c. I found the sheet of paper with the calculations that will get my old family from POTT-C to earth.
d.: Where was it?
C.: In the last place I looked.
d.: Well, there’s no use looking for it anymore, because you already found it!
C.: d.c., how much sleep have you had lately?
d.: Sleep?! I don’t need sleep! I’m Elvis Pressley, the King of Rock and Roll, baby!
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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