C.: Hi, d.c. I need some advice on dating.
d.: Well, Cal.E., I see two problems with asking me. One is that I haven’t been in the dating pool for over twenty years. The other is that I’m not a cat, so, I can't see how I can possibly help you.
C. : Yes, but you were engaged something like a million times before you got married. I need some advice from someone who isn’t a two time loser at love.
d.: I wasn’t engaged a million times, but, go ahead, I’m listening.
C.: Well, Tucker, Tucker, Two asked me out on a date, I think. I just froze. He implied that he let me win the catfight not only to get back at Tom for treating him shabbily, but also to impress me as a dating possibility. He wanted to go out to dinner and have some catnip before he taught me how to ride my bike.What do you think I should do?
d.: Well, The Tuxedo impresses me as a big teddy bear. He’s rough on the outside, and soft on the inside. His only friend is Tom. With friends like that, who needs enemies? He may just be trying to find a new friend to hang out with, if Tom dumped him after the catfight.
C.: No, that’s the odd part. Tom was really decent to Tucker after the fight. He told him that it would be okay, and he didn’t blame Tucker for losing. It was kind of touching, actually.
d.: So, what you’re saying is that you don’t think that Tucker is just looking for a friend, and you’re worried because you have two failed marriages on two different planets. Is that what I’m hearing?
C.: Yes, that’s about it.Tucker is sweet, and he’s actually a really intelligent cat. He helped me figure out how to make more money per hour by using the formula The Kennel uses to pay me. He said that if each of my employees cleaned just one more cage per day, I’d make an extra ten bucks each day. He really is very smart.
d.: And easy to talk to, it sounds like. I can’t tell you what to do. I know the feeling you’re having, but it has nothing to do with The Tuxedo. It has to do with you. It could be Tucker, Tom, or any other tomcat you meet and have an interest in. Self doubt is your worst enemy. If you like Tucker, spend some time with him and see where that goes. You may just end up with a new friend, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Just give yourself a chance and see where this leads.
C.: You’re right, d.c. I’ll call Tucker right now and tell him that I’ll meet him at a garbage heap and share some stinky trash with him. On an unrelated note, can I borrow a c-note?
d.: Isn’t Tucker going to pay, since he did the asking?
C.: Of course, but I must get ready for my date. I need to get all of my nails done. The groomer said that it would cost $100 to do all of them…
d.: I think you’re getting ripped off because you can’t count. I’ll take you to a good animal groomer and it won’t even cost one-tenth of that. I’ll even pay.
C.: Thanks, d.c. You’re a real pal. (The trickster strikes again).
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