HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH
Cal.E Kat: Hi, d.c., what’s going on?
d.c.: Work, life, the pursuit of happiness…do you have another cell phone with a call coming in?
C.: (ring) No, d.c. That’s the doorbell. I must go and see who’s at the door.
d.: You don’t have opposable thumbs. You can’t answer the door.
C.: No, d.c. I just want to see if I have a new human brother or sister, that’s all. Mom will answer the door.
d.: That’s not how human babies come to be. Didn’t your mom and dad ever tell you the facts of life, Cal.E.?
C.: Of course, d.c. And I have fourteen kittens of my own. That’s how animals have kittens. But human hairless kittens come to us in a different way.
d.: I know your Mom and Dad foster animals and children, but I think you may be a little confused, Cal.E…
C.: Maybe you're the one who’s confused, d.c.!
d.: Okay, Cal.E. Why don’t you enlighten me on the way human hairless kittens are born.
C.: Okay. Well, first, the phone rings. Then, Mom runs around the house looking for stuff. She then tells Dad he must go to someplace called “Walmart,”which Dad says is Hell on Earth, but Mom says is a necessary evil. Then, a few hours later, the doorbell rings. The person at the door is holding either a baby or a pizza! If it’s a baby, Mom and Dad sit at the table with the person who brought the baby and sign a lot of papers.Then, Mom looks around and tells Dad he must go back to “Hell on Earth,” because she forgot to tell him to buy several things. When Dad gets home, Mom and Dad introduce the new baby to his human and animal siblings. And that’s how human babies come to be. I know this for a fact, because I’ve seen it happen one dozen times!
d.: Cal.E., you say that you’ve seen this happen twelve times. You only have three human brothers. Where did the other nine babies go?
d.: To some place called “Adoption.” Mom and Dad were just getting them ready to go there. I don’t know exactly where this place is, but it must be a wonderful place! The babies get material things they need like clothes and food. They also get all the love and affection a human hairless kitten needs, and the parents get the baby they wanted so badly. That must be heaven on earth!
d.: I’m sure you’re right, Cal.E. It must be a wonderful place, for both the children and the new parents.
That’s all the time we have for today, folks, please join me, d.c. scot, and my co host, Cal.E. Kat, the world’s only talking cat tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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