C.: d.c. is working the night shift on the animal side of the kennel. I wonder where he is? I need to talk to him, since he is working in the rehab part of the facility. I can't use my phone, but I did see his name posted as the night nurse in the animal rehab facility. Oh, there he is! "d.c., you're late. You are NEVER late.. .Why are you late tonight? Would your truck not crank?"
d.: No, Cal.E. I got interested in reading something in my newspaper and lost track of time. Being five minutes late one time in my life is not significant, though, I don't think.
C.: Why didn't you just bring the newspaper with you and read it during your breaks?
d.: Because, Cal.E., it is a violation of the kennel's rules to even bring a newspaper onto the premises. I could get suspended, or even fired if they catch me with a newspaper in my truck.
C.: Really? Why?
d.: I don't know the reasoning, but it IS a rule (smh). I can bring a handgun (without even having a license for it now), an assault rifle, C-4, and other plastique explosives to work (as long as they are locked up), but I CANNOT bring a newspaper. I can bring wigs and makeup to make me look like someone else if I am in trouble with the law, but I CANNOT bring a newspaper. I can bring $9999.00 in cash to work but I CANNOT bring a newspaper. I can bring appliances and jewelry to sell to the inmates and security that "fell off the truck," but I CANNOT bring a newspaper. I can bring narcotics and a small amount of pot (with a prescription) to work but I CANNOT bring a newspaper. I can bring beer, wine, and whiskey to work (as long as it stays in my truck) but I CANNOT bring a newspaper. I can bring....
C.: Okay, d.c. I get the point. You CANNOT bring a newspaper to work. Can you bring magazines?
d.: Yes, I can bring those. Why?
C.: I need the latest copy of Cats Need kNowledge magazine. Can you bring it to me tomorrow night?
d.: Yes, but why is it so important to get this copy of CNN magazine to you? What does it have in it that you need so badly?
C.: It has an article telling us space cats how to take over the world and form a one-world government, I mean, it tells me how to grow my own catnip...er... cat CHOW. (yeah, that's it) Can you bring it to me?
d.: Now, THAT I CAN bring to work.
Comments