C.: d.c is late. He is never late for anything. Something must be wrong. I will call him and see if he answers his cell phone
d.: Hello!? Cal.E., why are you calling me so early!? And WHY are you calling me when I am sleeping in the next room?
C.: You know how lazy I am, I AM a house cat. AND It's time to post our blog. Did you forget?
d.: Yes, kind of. I had to work late. I did not get home until after eight. I was sleeping really well when you called. Can you handle printing the blog today? Maybe we can discuss the blog over the phone, if you do not want to walk a few feet and talk to me..
C.: I can do that, if you tell me why you were obligated to work late, d.c. You DID look like something that I would drag in when you came home from work this morning.
d.: Well, I had to wait on an inmate at the human kennel to pick up his pet. The person that was supposed to relieve me called in sick, and we had more animals than one person would have been able to handle so I stayed until the inmate picked up his hedgehog.
C.: Yuck! I hate rodents!
d.: A hedgehog is not actually a rodent, Cal.E.They belong to a different order.
C.: I suppose you must look after ALL of the inmates' pets, until they are able to pick them up. Why was the inmate late? d.: The inmate's wife's sister's ex- husband's dogsitter's next-door neighbor died last week, and he just found out about it yesterday. The state decided that he must undergo a psychological evaluation before they would release him to go to the funeral. He also complained of chest pain of 2 on a 0-10 scale, so the nurse was obligated to perform an EKG. He just had heartburn, as it turns out. The nurse gave him some antacids and he was fine thirty minutes later. Most people do feel at least SOME pain as long as they are awake. When I worked on the human side of the kennel, one old-timer said he missed the old days, because inmates were obligated to perform physical labor for 8-10 hours per day. HE enjoyed that, but too many inmates complained. Then a lawyer filed a lawsuit. Now they are not supposed to work over four hours per day, if at all. If an inmate has an excuse, he can get out of working at all. Unlike many type one and two diabetics in the free world, some even use THAT as an excuse. MANY diabetics have stressful jobs, and still manage to go to work on a regular basis. The prison system is NOT self-sufficient anymore!
C.: Wow, d.c. Now tell me how you REALLY feel. Also, was the inmate close friends with the deceased? That is not exactly family.
d.: No. It was a different next-door neighbor than the one that lived next door to the dogsitter when the inmate was incarcerated, five years ago. He only had two hours left on his sentence to finish his flat time, so he decided to wait it out, instead of being paroled for the funeral, and then be obligated to come back and serve those two hours later.
C.: You still should have been home earlier. Why the delay?
d.: Because the mental health provider does not come in until seven. A nurse cannot do a mental health evaluation. The guy was fine. He probably will not even go to the funeral. Once again, the state was paying me to do unnecessary work, but I will not turn it down. I just hope that they pay me, instead of just giving me paid time off.
C.: Was the hedgehog glad to see his human?
d.: THAT is why I had to stay even later. Hedgehogs only live for about five years. The hedgehog was at the end of his life expectancy. He did not recognize his human, since he had not seen him since the hedgehog was a baby. He did not want to leave his familiar environment. He fought his human until he almost died. Thank goodness he lived until he was off of the kennel's property, or I may still be at work, finishing my paperwork.
C.: I HATE paperwork!
d.: Is that why you tore up my manuscript?
C.: That's all the time we have for today. Tune in tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.'s Corner.
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