C.: d.c. is calling me on his way home from his nursing job at the kennel. I will see how his shift went. HI d.c., how are you doing?
d.: Not so good, Cal.E. I guess my boss is frustrated with the situation. She cannot seem to find a good replacement for my former coworker. She has been using a lot of four-letter words with me lately.
C.: That's bad. What words is she using with you, d.c.?
d.: Words like earn and work and hard and more and over and time...
C.: STOP! I'm a CAT. Those words are offensive to a house cat! Why is she using such language?
d.: Because we are getting more animals to take care of. I guess during the holiday season, people get desperate for money. When they get caught and thrown in jail, the kennel workers must take care of their pets until they are either found innocent or are paroled. Some even serve their whole sentences. That is called doing flat time. I think the last animal we got in will be at the kennel until his human does his flat time. I do NOT think he will be found innocent or paroled either one. He left his kid with us..
C.: What did the human do? And I thought that you only took care of animals. How is a human kid going to survive in the kennel?
d.: No, Cal.E. The animal is a baby goat. I guess the human decided that he would use the goat's food to try to procure some extra cash. He tried to rob a woman who was walking down the street. He put his hand in his pocket and pretended to have a gun.
C.: What happened? A human hand is too soft to feel like a gun.
d.: Yes, it is, so this human decided that he would use an object to emulate the presence of a gun in his pocket when he stuck it in the lady's back. He didn't get away with it, though.
C.: Why? What happened? And what was he pretending was a gun? You said that it was baby goat food.
d.: Yes, he was pretending to use a banana as a substitute for a gun in his pocket. Unfortunately for him, the woman he chose to try to rob was a martial arts expert. She held three black belts. She was on her way to teaching other women how to defend themselves against criminals. She quickly grabbed the man's other arm and flipped him over her shoulder. She then pulled his other hand out of his coat pocket and took the banana out of his hand. She pinned him to the sidewalk after that and kept him on his back on the sidewalk by pressing one knee into his throat, cutting off his air supply. While she pressed on his neck with her knee, she dialed 911. She held him on the sidewalk, letting him breathe just enough air to stay alive until the police arrived. When they took him to the police station, he begged them to take care of his kid. The police went to his house, thinking they were going to apprehend a juvenile human. THAT is when they found the baby goat. They decided to bring it to the kennel to be taken care of. I had to stay past time for my shift to be over to complete the paperwork. AND I must go back tomorrow for another twelve-hour shift. SMH
C.: It sounds like you have your hands full, d.c. Maybe I should take over your blog for you tomorrow.
d.: Yes, Cal.E. That would be great! That will give me more time to campaign for Elvis and Freddy for president and vice president in the next election!
C.: Okay, sure, d.c. I will be happy to free up some time for you to rest. Please take advantage of that opportunity!
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