I was caught in a trap, I heard my leg snap, and I could not walk away baby. Why can't you see; what has happened to me, when you don't believe a word I'm saying?
Oh, HI! d.c. is busy with "family obligations," so I am working alone today. I was just singing my favorite Elvis song
.It is also what I heard one of my fellow inmates tell the human kennel worker when he was trying to help Boris the Boar Hog up on a table to be examined. The human kennel worker was accustomed to working with animals that had been wounded by human traps. Boris, though, was put in the kennel to recover from his addiction to snow (peas). The game warden thought that he was asking for cocaine when he squealed that he wanted some snow. He just wanted more peas. Since he could not find any illegal drugs on Boris, the game warden just put him in a rehab facility. It was the same facility where I was incarcerated.
Boars have a reputation as being extremely tough. They are so tough that they will sometimes charge a human after s/he has shot the boar. Sometimes, they even succeed in harming the human before dying. Boris, though, had an addiction to snow peas. When he had to quit eating them cold turkey, he had withdrawal symptoms. He needed a fix, so he went to the kennel's infirmary and began to beg the human kennel workers for snow peas. One of the workers was new to the facility, so Boris thought that he could fool the human kennel worker into giving him some snow peas to ease his pain. Boris had heard that the human kennel worker had worked with animals that had been caught in traps and could not walk very well, so he limped into the infirmary. He told the human kennel worker that his leg hurt a lot and that the only thing that would ease his pain was snow peas. The vet asked his assistant to help Boris get up on the examining table, so he could examine the hurt leg. When the human kennel worker tried to pick Boris up, he squealed like a (you guessed it) PIG! The human kennel worker was very upset by the turn of events. He stopped trying to help Boris onto the examining table and tried to find a way for Boris to get on the table without causing him more pain. The vet had a way to do this, however.
"Boris, get on this table right now, or I will put you into the Ad. Seg. until you are old and gray!" The vet shouted. Boris did as he was told. The vet examined his leg and found no abnormalities. Boris was sent back to his kennel with no snow peas, and the new human kennel worker learned a valuable lesson. He now knew that addicts will do just about anything to get a "fix" of what they are addicted to.
I'm Cal.E. Kat, and YOU are somebody else!
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