C.: Hi, d.c., what are you doing now?
d.: I’m editing my manuscript to enter it in a contest.
C.: How much is the entry fee?
d.: It doesn’t cost any money. It does cost time and effort, though.
C.: Well, time and effort are good things, but they don’t pay the bills.
d.: No, but if I win, it will help pay the bills.
C.: And you can say that you’re an award-winning author, too. That would be cool.
d.: Yes, Cal.E., it would. It would also help to advance my career as an author. Then, maybe I could afford to retire from my nursing job someday.
C.: I thought you liked your nursing job.
d.: I do, but being able to set my own schedule would be nice. That’s why I’m taking all these classes and watching all these webinars to get tips on how to write and sell books.
C.: Well, I can help you sell books if you’ll help me with something with my book.
d.: (I’m almost afraid to ask this) What would I need to do for you for you to reciprocate?
C.: Just lend me a few thousand dollars.
d.: How many thousand, Cal.E.?
C.: Just sixteen. You can consider it a birthday/Christmas gift for the rest of my life, if you’d like to.
d.: That’s a lot of money, Cal.E. Why do you need sixteen G’s? Are you that far in debt with your bookie from gambling on football?
C.: No, d.c. I told you that I was up eight bills. I just want to promote my book. This guy says that he can guarantee me that my book will be a bestseller if I give him the sixteen grand. It’s someone you’ve dealt with before, so I reason he’s legitimate.
d.: I’ve never given anyone that much money to promote a book…
C.: But he says that it will be a guaranteed best seller if I give him the money to promote my book. Then, I can help you promote your books. Don’t you see, it will be a win-win situation. You’ll have a best-selling author to help promote your books, and I’ll be a best-selling author.
d.: I’m a little leery of anyone promising to make you a best-selling author, Cal.E. I know the person you’re dealing with, but I never spent anywhere near that much money with him. You need to be careful. When I was looking for any editor, I had all kinds of offers to edit my first manuscript. I found someone who I thought was reasonable, and he did a poor job. That was before I found my present editor, who’s reasonable and does an excellent job. You need to look around and do some research before you sign up with anyone in this industry. Much like the movie industry where agents promise to make their clients stars for a fee, there are a lot of people praying on new authors who don’t know the industry very well. Just be careful.
C.: I will, but I thought you had done the research for me. That’s why I decided to go with this person to promote my book.
d.: You need to know what his process is…how he plans to promote your book and what alternative plans he has… Hey, Cal.E., did this guy know that he was talking to a cat when you communicated with him by, I assume phone or email?
C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Corner.
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