Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That)
Cruised into a bar on the shore Her picture graced the grime on the door She's a long lost love at first bite Baby, maybe you're wrong But you know it's alright, that's right
Back stage we're having the time Of our lives until somebody said "Forgive me if I seem out of line" Then she whipped out a gun And tried to blow me away
Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady
So never judge a book by its cover Or who you gonna love by your lover Sayin', love put me wise to her love in disguise She had the body of a Venus Lord, imagine my surprise
Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Let me take a peek dear (Baby, let me follow you down) Do me, do me, do me all night (Baby, let me follow you down) Turn the other cheek, dear (Baby, let him follow you down) Do me, do me, do me, do me
Ooh, what a funky lady Ooh, she like it, like it, like it, like that Ooh, he was a lady, yeah
Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady (that, that) Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady (that, that) Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady (that, that) Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady (that, that) (That, that) (That, that) (That, that) ooh (That, that) (That, that) (That, that) (That, that) (That, that) (That, that)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Desmond Child / Joe Perry / Steven Tyler
Dude (Looks Like A Lady) lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing
C.: Hey, d.c. I have a question about what to do about the medication I found in an inmate’s cell when I was cleaning it.
d.: Well, first, you need to report to the ranking officer on duty that you found a medication in a prisoner’s cell, if it isn’t in a blister pack with his name on it. Then, s/he will take you to the medical department to be identified. If it is a medication that isn’t prescribed to that inmate, he will have it taken away from him and be written a case. If it is prescribed to him, he will still be written a case. The security staff will decide if he is allowed to keep the med. That is up to them.
C.: Well, none of prisoner 683843*’s meds were in a blister pack, and there were a lot of them—
d.: Jonathon Donovan*?!
C.: Yes, I believe that is his name. His wheelchair was broken, so he walked down to the medical department to have it fixed, and I decided to clean his cell while he was gone. That’s when I found the pills.
d.: You just save the state a lot of money, Cal.E.! You’re a hero!
C.: How so?
d.: Jonathon Donovan* can walk, obviously. He doesn’t need a wheelchair. That’s number one. Number two is those pills you found are to suppress his testosterone. He says that he wants to transition to becoming a woman, and the state is paying for the meds and the surgery to make that happen. He is given his own cell without a cellie, and can shower by himself because of this. He’s costing the State a lot of money, since security must assign an officer to watch only him in the shower and when he’s in a crowd of other inmates! The State must make sure that he isn’t taken advantage of by other inmates.
However, since he still has a full beard and a deep voice, the medical and security staff both suspect he isn’t taking the pills so that he can sue the State when he gets out in a couple of years. He’ll find a lawyer who will claim that, since he’s in the Human Kennel, the State was giving him inferior meds, and those meds didn’t work. If those pills are what I suspect they are, that blows his whole case, because that will prove that he isn’t taking his meds properly. You’ll probably be rewarded!
C.: With a parade, a promotion, and catnip for life?
d.: More like a pat on the back and added hours to your shift. Why are you doing your old job, anyway? You have been promoted. What happened to that?
C.: Your Human Kennel is short-handed, so it’s “all hands on deck.” Even those of us in management are expected to pitch in and help until an adequate replacement is found.
d.: That explains it. It looks like we’ll be working together for a while, Cal.E. It takes all kinds of clearance to work in the kennel. It’s actually harder to find workers who are qualified to work in The Kennel than for the inmates to get out of it!
C.: Well, I need to take a nap, so that I can go back and fill my second shift of the day. One of the other cell cleaners is on vacation, so I must fill in for him, too. I guess we’re out of time for today!
d.: I will talk to you tomorrow, then, Cal.E. Have a good shift tonight.
* This is not the inmate’s real name or number. I cannot use those in this blog. Also, my son’s cat is still dead. I don’t actually talk to her. However, she was a very patient cat, who tolerated one dozen foster children pulling her tail and batting her ears without retaliating. She was a good pet for my whole family, even for someone who prefers larger breeds of dogs, such as German shepherds, Collies, and Chow Chows.
Also, Buddy Bones isn’t actually on another planet. He is right here on Earth, getting ready to celebrate his fourteenth birthday in a few months. And, most importantly, I really do see someone in the mirror that is more handsome than George Clooney or Brad Pitt (or even George Strait). After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!
Comments