RALPH: A one, a two, a one two three four…
C.: Houston has the Astros, the greatest baseball team
They hit the ball from line to line and homer in between
Their batters are amazing,
Their pitchers are sublime
They make Rob miserable by winning all the time
We’re the.. . Houston Astros, Houston Astros
Houston Astros number one..two, three, four
d.: Why are you singing that song today, Cal.E.?
C.: I'm getting ready for the big game tonight! You said that, if Ralph or I sing this song in the blog, the Astros always win. I’m rooting my team on!
d.: That’s admirable, but the game is tomorrow night!
C.: What day is it?
d.: Thursday. The game is tomorrow, on Friday, 10/28/22 at 7:03 p.m.
C.: Oh. Then why are you here? You said that I would be doing the blog solo today. That's why I asked Ralph to help me out.
d.: I was just monitoring our 119 line. I guess, with the way things are in the world right now, no one wants to call and brag about how well their lives are going. I did not receive a single call today (or ever, really).
C.: Well, since you're here, let’s talk about the game tomorrow night. What is your prediction for the first game, and the World Series as a whole.
d.: I predict that, since there is a 100% chance of rain in Houston tomorrow, the roof will be closed at the Juice Box, and the noise level will bother the Phillies so much that they won’t present much of a problem. Justin Verlander will pitch seven scoreless innings, and Jose Altuve will break out of his slump and win the game!
C.: And for the whole series?
d.: What do I think or what do I hope will happen?
C.: Is there a difference?
d.: Yes. I think the Astros will end the postseason undefeated by sweeping the Phillies in four games. I HOPE the World Series goes six games, though.
C.: Why would you want that, d.c.? So that the Astros will make more money that way? They will have more games at home…
d.: NO! I want the World Series to go six games because, if the series came back to Houston, Rob (he is NOT a) Man,Fred would then be obligated to present the Astros with the World Championship trophy in Houston. He would have to do that in front of a hostile audience. The boos from the crowd would make his speech inaudible, I believe. I think that will happen in Philly, though, because the Astros are on a streak.
C.: Doesn’t it worry you that the three teams that have gone into the World Series undefeated in postseason play this century have all LOST the World Series?
d.: No, not really. Those three teams got hot at the right time, just as the Phillies did this season. The Astros have been good all season long. Besides, Philadelphia is infamous for booing the opposition, or even its own team if it doesn’t do well. The Astros thrive on that! How many times have hostile away crowds booed the Astros, only to have Altuve lead the game off with a home run and silence the crowd this year?
C.: Thirteen, I think. He holds the club record for doing that. He surpassed “Mr. November,” George Springer for leading off a game with a home run this year. No one will ever replace “Mr. October,” Reggie Jackson, but Springer was named the MVP of the 2017 World Series, which was the first one to end in November. That’s why I chose the nickname “Mr. November” for him.
But, you brought up the point that the Phillies are hot. What about that?
d.: There is a difference between playing well and playing out of your mind. The Phillies have been doing the latter for the last few weeks. They are a bad defensive team. Their best hitters are streaky, and their rotation can’t hold a candle to the Astros’ starters. The Astros will take advantage of their bad defense, suspect pitching, and streaky hitters.
Mattress Mac will win the 75 million dollars he’s due to make if the Astros win, his customers who bought more than $3,000.00 worth of furniture will get double their money back, and the Astros will be declared world champions.
C.: And afterward, all the sportscasters will remind everyone what happened in 2017. It’s funny how no one ever talks about how the Yankees and Red Sox got caught cheating (and the Red Sox used their cheating technology to knock the Astros out of the playoffs the year they won the World Series. It makes sense since the mastermind of the Astros cheating scandal was their manager at the time).
AND no one ever discredits the New England Patriots, even though they’ve been caught cheating twice. The New York Mets and the Los Angeles Dodgers also have former players pointing fingers at them, saying they also cheated. If I had access to Jim McIngvale’s money, I would bet as much as he did on the Astros to win the World Series, that none of these things will ever be mentioned, but 2017 will always be brought up, as long as the Astros remain at the pinnacle of Major League Baseball.
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please Join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Corner.
C.: And one more thing
LET’ S GO ASTROS!
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