d.: Before starting today’s blog, I want to first remember all those who lost loved ones in the attack on the twin towers twenty-one years ago today. My and Cal.E.’s thoughts and prayers are with you, as well as the families of those who lost their sons, daughters, mothers, or fathers fighting terrorism in the years after the worst attack on American soil in the history of our country. I also want to salute those who dedicated a portion of their lives to help keep the country safe from another attack on this great nation. Thank you for your service.
d.: I’m glad I was able to catch an earlier flight back from London. I can now watch the whole Texan’s game live at Horace and Hortense’s house while I watch over their pets. (meow!). What?! I thought I heard a pussy cat! (meow!) I did! (click) Well, hello there Mr. Yellow Tabby Cat. You are not one of Cal.E.’s male kittens. You don’t have an i.d. tag from The Kennel. (ring).
Well, hello, big fella. A large tuxedo cat like you probably eats a lot. You must be hungry after you journeyed here to pick up your friend. Do you want something to eat?
Tom: Let’s go, Triple T two. It is almost noon. Mom and Dad will be upset if we don’t get home before they eat lunch and they need to go looking for us. Mom cannot eat until she knows all her animals are safe and sound.
Tuxedo: How long were you locked up in the joint dis time, boss?
Tom: I’m no mathematician, but it was a long time, and it was HORRIBLE! I was without water and food from 10:10 until 10:46 so…
Tuxedo: Thirty-six minutes?!
Tom: Okay, Mr. Tucker Tucker Two, math genius. Figure out how long it will take for a cat that out-weighs that no good Cal.E. Kat by ten pounds to be sat on to cough up the $250 K I lost when she locked me in that closet! I need you to get my money back, plus the money the bank robbers took! AND, I want to make sure that the “Triple T Triumvirate” is THE most feared cat cartel in Greater Houston!
Tuxedo: I t’ink “triumvirate’ connotes an organization of three people; there are only two of us so…
Tom: Shut up and run! It is almost noon. I do not want Mom to put me under house arrest again! I am just glad the old guy got there when he did. The other cats said he was not due for several hours. I wonder how he got there so fast?
Earlier, in London, Ontario
C.: Come on Ralph. I’ll buy us a couple of rounds of my specialty drink. I get a kickback from it since I invented it.
Ralph: What’s it called?
C.: Beet juice with ground catnip.
Ralph: What’s in it?
C.: Beet juice,…and ground catnip!
Ralph: It sounds like something that could be powerful. Maybe that guy just had some.
C.: That looked like d.c.
Barkeeper: That’s not him. I saw him when he was racing under his real name. He was a nationally ranked triathlete and Iron Man. If that was him, where is the knee brace on his right knee, and why isn’t he riding a bicycle?
C.: d.c. had his knee replaced, and bicycles are illegal in the airport…
Ralph: That looks like the guy who was on the plane with me when it came up to Dallas from Houston. He does have on a Houston Astros cap and dark sunglasses and a KN95 respirator on his face, but the name on the plane’s manifest was…
C.: J.D. Magruder?
Ralph: How did you know that?
C.: Because, Ralph, that is the main character in his mystery series of books, “The Magruder Mysteries.” He is not dressed as Jay, though. He is dressed as another character, Miko…
Ralph: Who now?
C.: Jack’s brother
Ralph: ????
C.: Linda’s husband! Didn’t you read any of the manuscripts I sent you to read when you were traveling, Ralph? These books will be big someday, and you will own an original draft from the author!
Ralph: Why do you say these books will be big, Mom?
C.: Because, Ralph, d.c. sent a manuscript to Online Book Club for evaluation. It is called "The Inert Ingredient." When it is released, though, d.c. says it will be called "The Magruder Mysteriies' Murder 8; The Inert Ingredient." The reviewer liked the book so much that it is going to be pinned to the top of the reviews until Veteran’s Day, even though there is no physical book yet. It only got three out of four stars, though, because it had not been professionally edited yet.
That is why d.c. is having his nonfiction book, “Beyond the Thirteenth Mile; The Iron Man Chronicles” professionally edited a second time before releasing it. It may not be out by Christmas as he planned, but it is important to him for the book to be accurate. It has an important message he wants to impart to other humans.
Ralph: What is the message, Mom?
C.: Never lose hope. Barkeep, another round for all my friends.
Barkeeper: $1200.00
C.: I only know my son in this airport, so I only want two drinks.
Barkeeper: $12.00 then
Later
Airport worker one: This carrier is for a seven-pound cat. It weighs nine pounds. What is the green stuff coming out of the comatose cat’s mouth? Two pounds of catnip?! We have a new record!
A.P.W. 2: And this one must be a musician. He has a tiny little bass…
A.P.W. 1: You mean a BASS!
A.P.W. 2: That’s what I said! I see they are both going to Folsom, California. I wonder if the yellow tabby will play a tribute to the “Man in Black..”
A.P.W. 1: Who now?
A.P.W. 2: Johnny Cash! Didn’t you ever see the movie “Walk the Line,” with Joaquin Phoenix?”
A.P. W. 1: The guy from “The Joker?!” I MUST see that movie, if it has him in it, it t MUST be good.
A.P.W. 2: It is one of the few movies that is worth your time, just like “The Joker.” Let’s load these pet carriers and wrap this up.
