Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down
Five o'clock in the mornin' I'm already up and gone Lord, I'm so tired How long can this go on?
Da-da, workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down
'Course I make a little money Haulin' coal by the ton But when Saturday rolls around I'm too tired for havin' fun
Too tired for havin' I'm just workin' in the coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down
Lord, I'm so tired How long can this go on?
Da-da, workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down
Five o'clock in the mornin' I'm already up and gone Lord, I'm so tired How long can this go on?
Da-da, workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down
'Course I make a little money Haulin' coal by the ton But when Saturday rolls around I'm too tired for havin' fun
Too tired for havin' I'm just workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down Workin' in a coal mine Goin' down, down, down Workin' in a coal mine Oops, about to slip down
Lord, I'm so tired
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Allen Toussaint
Working in the Coal Mine lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
London, Ontario, Canada 1900 hours; September 10, 2022
RALPH: (hehe!) I am the only one after the money to know that the “bank robbers” in Mom and d.c.’s human kennel were talking about mining bitcoin, not cash. What, what is this? “Sorry, game over?! THANKS FOR PLAYING?! D.C. SCOT?! MOM!!!
C.: Ralph! How did you figure it out?
RALPH: Simple, Mom! I simply bugged all the Human Kennel’s new iPad devices and deduced which devices belonged to the robbers. I then decoded the messages the robbers were sending to their cronies on the outside. I figured out that they were talking about a written code for bitcoin that was hidden in a coal mine in London, Ontario. I then tried to throw y’all off by singing a song about London, England. My question is, how did d.c. figure it out first?!
C.: I have a theory on that, Ralph. Here is what I think happened.
London, Ontario, 1700 hours
d.: Paydirt! 250 k won’t change my life, but I CAN retire now. Eudora said I could do that once the mortgage is paid off. I can do that with less than half this money. I will give one-quarter of the money to human charities, and one-quarter to animal charities. I will use the rest of the money to go on medical mission trips with my church group, volunteer my medical skills and pay my own way. In between, I can write my book series and write songs with my youngest son. We will jam with Cal.E.’s group, The Roccats, on a regular basis….
RALPH: Hold on, Mom, what makes you think ANY of this happened?
C.: Because, Ralph, d.c. is a generous person. He gives one-half (and sometimes all) the money he earns from writing his books and songs to various charities. AND my band is ROCKING…
RALPH: Okay, Mom. Just tell me one thing. How did d.c., an old guy, figure this out, and beat us here?
d.: What those robbers don’t realize is that, since I lost most of my hearing relatively young, I have become an expert lip-reader. Since everyone must wear masks in medical settings now, I ask my patients to speak into my amplified microphone when they see me at work. They think I am so hard of hearing that they don’t need to stop their conversation when I make my rounds during my nursing shifts. Even though they still talk in code, I can figure that out. I am old, but needing to keep up with my continuing education requires me to be computer-savvy to some degree. I figured out that the robbers were spouting code for bitcoin to each other, so I typed the codes in search engines until I figured it out.
The government has repaid the people who lost their money. The accounts were FDIC ensured, and one-half of this money will now be given to various charities to help those in need. The other one-half will go to help me help others in this and other countries. I can pay one-half of my utility, tax, and grocery bills with my retirement money, and one-half with the money I earn from writing books, songs, and television shows. The money I will get from writing that new television show Cal.E. is supposed to be helping me write should help. I wonder why she is so late sending me that script?
Also, Cal.E.’s text she sent me inadvertently (when she was supposed to send me her blog post) helped me know what time to get here…
RALPH,: What text, Mom?
C.: Well, it is like this, son. I had some…”refreshments” with your siblings and decided to take a walk to clear my head before flying back to Houston. Cats are notoriously bad flyers, and I am no different than anyone cat. However, I got lost and needed a ride to DFW airport quickly, I must have gotten mixed up and sent the wrong text to the wrong people. I texted d.c. to get me, and the Dallas Car Service ride-share driver my t.v. pilot script idea; because I missed the flight I booked, and had to book a later flight. I would have beaten d.c. here, otherwise….
RALPH: So, are you mad you didn’t get the money, Mom?
C.: No, Ralph, not really. And I am glad you didn’t get here before d.c. did, either. You or I would have just blown all the money on catnip and cat toys for ourselves. d.c. will use it for good. Come on, son, we can drown our sorrows with some catnip. I’m buying.
Meanwhile, on Planet HTRAE
Buddy Bones: WELL CATNIP!!
(in unison)
ELAC: WELL CATNIP!!
and, in Greater Houston
d.: Well, I can’t watch my college team play football on T.V. tonight, and Cal.E. just texted me that she is safe and ready to come home. She and Ralph are bonding over “beet juice,” so all is well. I can relax and watch some boob tube. What is this new show?! It sounds awfully familiar
And now, the pilot of the new series “The Superlative Superhero” by Chidon Eri Katsuie, an exchange student from Japan who is putting herself through college by supplying ride shares to the airports in Dallas, Texas. She says a mysterious text from an unknown person led her to come up with the idea of a Superhero, who hears all distress signals in the universe and is faster than the speed of light, preventing accidents before they happen. The main character obtained super hearing and speed when doused with radioactive material while rescuing puppies and kittens from a burning building. He was a doctor/cop/lawyer working for the fire department when he did this. This show is going to be BIG!
d.: CAL.E.!!!!!
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