presents d.c.scot’s
CLUESS LOU
He is literally the polaroid of perfection
He has everything and she’ll give it to you
in a second
Looks can deceive
He wears his heart
on his sleeve
He’ll steal you away
Not just one day
Every day is an ordinary day
In his world
He’s an ordinary guy
Theme from the movie “Clueless” (modified)
Let’s see… I want to get back into good physical condition, but I cannot figure out how to do it. The last twenty years of little to no physical activity has taken its toll. Oh, this sounds interesting. A slot just opened up for the Ironman distance triathlon scheduled to take place in November. What are the specifics? a 2.4 mile, open water swim, then a 112 mile bike ride, then a 26.2 mile marathon. All I must do is finish in 17 hours. Okay, I need to do some ciphering, if I am going to be successful.
Step number one: Learn to swim. Step number two: Buy a bicycle. Step number three: Learn to ride a bicycle. It IS going to be a busy summer!
Well, at least I have the last part covered. I already KNOW how to run. Just to make sure, I will sign up for this five kilometer run that will be staged next week. This one looks like it will fit my schedule, since it does not occur until 8 a.m. Just because it is August and this is Houston, most of these races start WAY too early for me. I can be there by eight, I think. If not, I will just outrun everyone to the finish line. I will collect my trophy and head back home with my confidence renewed!
One week later
Amended goals for the rest of the summer: Learn to run FASTER! Learn to swim in the open water, not a swimming pool; where I can increase my speed by pushing off on walls. Buy a BETTER bicycle, one that costs a lot of money, and learn how to ride IT properly.
I should still be able to finish this race in less than twelve, make it thirteen hours. I am not as young as I once was. Then again, I will be competing with people in my age group. I should be able to outrun most of them, since I was an athlete when I was in high school. In fact, if I had not had that unfortunate accident while playing a pickup basketball game, I would have been playing a sport on a college level. Sure, it would have been D3, but who cares? An athlete is an athlete. I f I had not had my knee surgically rebuilt, I would have been participating in distance runs and triathlons after I graduated from college. I am VERY athletic!
I guess I need to make up for lost time. I will increase my runs by fifty percent each day. THAT will get me to where I want to go by November! I will swim in a lake every day and increase my distance each time. I will then do bricks twice a week. Cycling and then running without resting should not be THAT hard! My legs will already be loose from cycling, so I should be able to run even faster than I usually do!
Does anyone want to guess what happened to clueless Lou?
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