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Cal.E.'s Corner


On Planet HTRAE


Buddy Bones: What, what’s happening to me? Ahh…




ELAC: Mission accomplished. Buddy Bones did not know that all guns on this planet work the exact opposite of the way they do on Earth. When Dr. Bones pointed the raygun he had disguised as a human hand at me, he sealed his fate.


The raygun was supposed to send ME back to Earth. Instead, he sent himself back to his home planet.

Good riddance, I say. HE belongs there. I do not. I am a highly intelligent cat. I would be relegated to being a simple, domestic pet on Earth. I would NOT be allowed to use my considerable intelligence to accomplish anything, like these calculations that are for inventing a perpetual motion machine. The being who gets their hands on these may well be able to control the whole universe, since it will be an unending source of power that will not destroy the environment.

Now, to do the right thing and destroy these papers. Unless….


Meanwhile, on planet Earth (sort of)


Buddy Bones: Where..where am I?! This place looks VERY familiar! Oh, yes. I am back on Earth at my mom and dad’s house. I must get back to the planet HTRAE and complete my work so that I can eat whatever I want and nap whenever I please. THAT is what I would be doing the last couple of years of my life if I ruled the universe!

Here, I can only….nap whenever I want and eat what Mom and Dad feed me. If I indicate I do not like some of my food, they will both bend over backward to find a food that pleases me…..Hmm, it seems that there is little difference between ruling the universe and being the pet dog of a kind owner or owners.




Here comes Mom. I suppose I should get back into character…Want food, want food NOW! Please feed me PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.


Mom: Boudreaux, Boudreaux, golly, where have you been for the last few days?! It does NOT matter. I am SO glad to see you! Here is a nice, juicy, raw steak with a large bone. Enjoy!


In another sector of the Blue Planet, d.c and Cal.E. are getting ready to deplane in Atlanta



C.: When Louis came home to the flat, He hung up his coat and his hat, He gazed all around, but no wifey he found, So he said "where can Flossie be at?" A note on the table he spied, He read it just once, then he cried It ran, "Louis dear, it's too slow for for me hear, So I think I will go for a ride." "Meet me in St. Louis, Louis, Meet me at the fair, Don't tell me the lights are shining Any place but there, We will dance the Hoochee Koochee, I will be your tootsie wootsie, If you will meet in St. Louis, Louis, Meet me at the fair." "Meet me in St. Louis, Louis, Meet me at the fair, Don't tell me the lights are shining Any place but there, We will dance the Hoochee Koochee, I will be your tootsie wootsie, If you will meet in St. Louis, Louis, Meet me at the fair." Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Andrew Sterling / F.A. Mills Meet Me in St. Louis lyrics © BMG Rights Management


d.: Yes, Cal.E. The St. Louis Cardinals ARE one of the five teams that have been to the World Series four times in the twenty-first century! Four teams down, one to go!




C.: Look, d.c. I got a text from Ralph! It looks as though he has found his niche! He says that he is enjoying touring with the imposters that are passing themselves off as Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young!



The band has REALLY taken off since it added a new member!

d.: OH?! What is so special about the new band member?

C.: He can play ANY instrument! He was formerly a one-man band!

d.: Why did he quit doing that?

C.: His band broke up. The members couldn’t get along with each other!

d.: O-KAY! Well, it looks as if we are in the right place. Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young (plus two) are playing in Atlanta tonight. Maybe we should try to get tickets and enjoy the show!

C.: IDK, d.c. That may pose a problem.

d.: Why is that, Cal.E.

C.: Because, this is the picture that Ralph sent me of people waiting in line to see his band’s concert.



d.: (Heavy sigh)



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