We’re the Houston Astros, Houston Astros, Houston Astros number one 2,3,4
C.: hi, d.c. What are you doing now?
d.: I am sending an email to Rob (he is NOT a) Man,Fred.
C.: I thought he was your least favorite person on the face of the Earth. Why are you sending him an email?
d.: Because Cal.E., I noticed even the Seattle fans were booing Jose Altuve at the beginning of the game today. He hit a home run on the first pitch of the game. The more he is booed, the better he plays.
Altuve is taking the brunt of the fans’ wrath during road games, even though it has been definitively proven HE did not cheat during the “Biggest Scandal Since the 1919 Black Sox Scandal,” according to Rob. (he is NOT a )Man,Fred. Alex Bregman, the player most identified with the scandal, is being given a free pass, though. According to FANGRAPH, Altuve batted .333 on the road in 2017, and .311 at home.
Alex Bregman also did better on the road that year than at home. He batted .311 at home, and .381 on the road, per FANGRAPH. Maybe the system the Astros used was too distracting. The Astros batters may have been even better at home if they were not distracted by the trashcan banging.
However, I think Rob is doing the Astros’ second baseman a favor. The more the fans on the road boo him, the better Jose` Altuve` does at the plate.
C.: So, if it is helping your favorite player to be booed on the road, why are you typing the email to the commissioner of Major League Baseball? Maybe it would be better to “Let Sleeping Dogs Lie,” as you so eloquently state in the prequel to “Precision, An Act of Passion.” I believe that the working title of that book is “The Inert Ingredient,” isn’t it?
d.: Yes, Cal.E. that is correct. I did name one of the chapters in the manuscript for that book “Sleeping Dogs.” The gist of the chapter is it is sometimes best to let a situation remain as is.
C.: So, what does your email say?
d.: That Rob should dog Alex Bregman the same way he did Jose` Altuve. ` Then, maybe HE will do as well on the road as his teammate, when fans in other cities start booing him the way they do the Astros’ leadoff hitter!
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