d.: Maybe the new name of the blog would be Cal.E.’s condescending caterwauling!
C.: Yeah?! WEll…thinking more like d.c.’s delusional ditherings!
While these two argue about the name of their blog and tagline, we will take you to planet HTRAE, where Dr. Buddy Bones is trying to corner the energy market by inventing a perpetual motion machine.
B.B: This trivia question is so simple. The Earth states of California, New York, New Jersey, and Illinois are all states that have state income taxes and are insolvent, unlike Texas and Washington. Neither of those states has a state income tax, and both are solvent.
Now, to my more pressing problem. (knock, knock). I think that it has just been solved.
ELAC! What a pleasant surprise!
E.: Is it? I reasoned that, since you dm’d me, emailed me, texted me, and called and left several voicemails, you may need my help. Thank you for sending a full-time sitter for my kittens, but I think they would be better off with their mother’s care.
B.B.: Nonsense. Gale N. Florence is a registered nurse. She will know what to do if one of your kittens has problems. I reasoned that I could pay her the salary that I was going to pay you, since it is so important to you for your kittens to have excellent care!
E.: Dr. Bones, you know that I am not helping you for financial gain. I simply want the satisfaction of helping save our planet! I will take a look at your calculations. Maybe I can use some of it to further my work.
Oh, dear. I must delete all of your calculations and start anew! This will set me back several months. I suppose that it is for the “greater good,” though. Tell Ms. Florence to please continue to take care of my kittens. This work is too important to ignore!
Also, I will need for you to feed me two meals each day, as well as give me enough food to take home and feed my kittens, as well as Ms. Florence. I will need a stipend each day for supplies. That stipend should be double what you were paying me in salary before. Then, I will need you to follow my direction carefully. If you do not, we may need to start this process all over again. That will set us back several months, if not years. Now, let’s get busy!
I need a new computer. This one is outdated. I also need one of those messaging chairs to help me relax. That will help me think better and speed up the process. Additionally, I will need a large, comfortable bed. It will save time if I sleep here. Also, I understand that caviar is good for one’s brain. I will require one-half pound per day, in addition to my two tuna meals. Don’t skimp on the tuna, though. It will benefit my brain, as well as both of us if I get the best tuna on the market. Spare no expense.
I cannot think when I am hungry, and I have not eaten all day! Please go and get the caviar and the tuna now, so that I can concentrate! On your way back, please stop by the big box store and buy me a large-screen television set. I will concentrate better if my brain is relaxed. We must hurry! We have no time to spare!
B.B.: (Irritating, extortionist communistic cat!) I will be back as soon as possible, my valued coworker.
C.: Communist my eye! I just convinced him to not only pay for a kitten sitter, but to bring me all the comforts of home! My kittens have recovered from kitty covid, but having an RN watching them all day every day will help me relax. I needed a break from my offspring!
Now, I must carefully recreate Dr. Bones' work while he is gone. He was about two steps from solving the whole problem. It is a good thing I have an eidetic memory!
If I play my cards right, I can milk this for several months! Earth dogs do not know how cunning we cats from planet HTRAE can be!
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