C.: Now that I have on “the cat’s pajamas” (hehe) I am wide awake! I must get some sleep before my evening shift, though. Counting sheep, or pigs, or cows, or goats, or dogs, or humans will not put me to sleep, since I can only count to two. Because of this, I will contemplate the great mysteries of life to bring on slumber.
Why do all other superheroes, besides Super Man and Super Girl wear masks when in costume, whereas those two wear disguises when NOT in character? And why are they called Super MAN and Super GIRL when Super Girl is Super Man’s older cousin. And why are they called by human pronouns, since they are both aliens? Wouldn’t better names for them be Super Alien Guy and Super Alien Gal? And how do glasses hide one’s identity? Are the glasses magic, or do they make others have poor eyesight?
Also, if Cat woman married Batman and they had an offspring, would s/he be a cat that would be able to fly? Or would it just be a boring old human baby, since they are both mortals? And how did Batman defeat Superman, if Superman is a super-powerful alien and Batman is a mere mortal?
And what is the difference between Oleo and margarine? And why does Prince say “Oleo, Oleo Oh” in the middle of one of his songs? Was he a big fan of this type of fake butter? And was “The San Pedro Beach Bums” REALLY the worst television show of all time? It seems to have a lot of competition lately!
And why is the combination of the absence of all color and presence of all light (white) and the absence of all light and the presence of all color (black) called “gray.” Wouldn’t a better name for this color be bite? Or, perhaps, whack? And IS gray actually a color? Back and white are not technically colors, so why is their combination considered to be one?
Also, when a yoga instructor ends a class, why does s/he say “namaste?” Wouldn’t it be better for Nama to go, since the class is over? And what if no one in the class is named “Nama?” Then, does anyone stay after class?
And are the crayfish or crawfish? These crustaceans are known by two different names and can be caught in drainage ditches and in brackish open water. Is one caught in one place and the other in the other place?
And if General Tsao was so busy making chicken, how did he become such a good warrior? And, if a one-hundred- pound woman gives birth to a bouncing, eight- pound, eight- ounce baby boy and lifts him every day of his life until he is eighteen, will this tiny woman be able to lift a 200 lb. man when he is grown? And why would she want to try?
Also, why is the ten pm to six a.m. shift called the “night shift,” when most of it occurs in the early hours of the morning? Speaking of which, I am scheduled to work this shift this evening
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