C.: d.c. wants me to help him write his blog today, but I must work tonight. My kittens are on the verge of finishing their training, but Ralph and Jodi need some extra guidance. Since I was so good at my former job, my superiors at The Kennel want me to take my tow youngest kittens under my wing and make sure they know how to do their jobs properly. If I can do that, my kittens will all have permanent jobs, and Tom and I will not need to worry about them anymore. My time is short, though. I only have about tow weeks to teach them the “tricks of the trade,” and I am exhausted from basically working tow jobs.
I know how to get d.c. to write this blog by himself. I will ask him about his favorite person in the world. Then I will get dressed for work and take a nap. Getting dressed first will allow me to sleep a little longer.
“Hey, d.c. I hear that your boy, Rob “THE” Man,Fred will be in Houston the next time the Astros play a home series. He wants to make sure that his least favorite team is not cheating. What do you think about that?” (Now I can get some sleep. d.c. will not be able to hold his thoughts about this guy. Goodnight, y’all.)
d.: Rob (he is NOT a ) Man,Fred should resign his position immediately, if not (preferably) sooner. Him revealing what the Astros players told him to the pubic, after sending a SEALED letter to his favorite team, the lying, cheating, self-righteous New York Yankees is ludicrous!! He promised the Astros players anonymity and then revealed the names of the players he interviewed. He is a liar, a cheater (for his favorite team; does anyone actually believe a sealed letter and a $100,000 fine kept the Yankees from using their technology to their advantage? If you do, call me. I know whare you can buy some property in Galveston, Texas that is Guaranteed to never flood {again}).
Being a liar and cheater for his favorite teams are the commissioner’s stronger points! When he said that he “would like to take back some of my comments about what I said earlier<” I thought he was going to “eat crow” and admit that he was playing favorites (and hopefully, resign immediately.) Alas, he did not. The commissioner merely apologized to an inanimate object, the world championship trophy for major league baseball, not the players whose confidence he broke. Not did the commissioner admit that he was biased toward certain teams. He thought it more important to apologize to an inanimate object than real people. THAT should say everything you need to know about Rob (he is NOT a) Man,Fred.
I will admit that the Astros got three whole hits out of their little scheme (I wonder how many the Yankees and Red Sox were able to procure by using apple watches to warn their hitters that a breaking ball, not a fastball, was coming across the plate? My guess is more than three).
Okay, so others have also cheated. Some notable cheaters are: Hall of Famer Gaylord Perry, who wrote a book about how he cheated his whole career. Perry would tap whatever part of his body it was rumored he had foreign substances hidden on his person before throwing a pitch. The thing is, he often DID have foreign substances on his person. Also, Hall of Famer George Brett once had a home run taken away from him for using an illegal (hollowed out) bat. His excuse was that he borrowed it from a teammate and did not know it was illegal (the bat must be within two ounces of the length. I.e. an thirty-four inch bat must weigh at least thirty-two ounces. I have expounded on my personal experience with this before. It is a HUGE advantage).
So, a perennial batting champion borrowed a teammate’s bat (a pitcher’s bat, at that), and could not discern that it was too light? Aside from the fact these players guard those bats like money (which it is to players like Brett), a batting champion could not tell that he was using and illegal bat? AND he only used it once! (And if you believe that, that property in Galveston is calling your name. What are the odds it will flood for the fifth time?)
Here is a partial list of players who were NOT caught cheating: All-time homerun king Barry Bonds (not in the Hall of Fame.) Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader in major league baseball (not in the Hall of Fame because he admitted he gambled on his teams to WIN when he was a manager). Pitcher Roger Clemons (one of the best pitchers of this era, in many people’s opinion), my former college classmate, Rafael Palmeiro (something about using steroids to hit his 600 homeruns. The last time I checked, 600 is significantly more than three. Correct me if I am wrong, but THAT sounds like a bigger scandal than using trashcans to acquire three hits, none of which were game-winning hits!
My message is this. WE should demand the immediate resignation of Rob (he is NOT a) Man,Fred, and put ANYBODY else in charge of MLB. In fact, I believe that even Cal.E. would be a better commissioner than Rob! I am going to start a movement right now! Cal.E. Kat for commissioner of MLB
CAL.E! CAL.E! CAL.E!
C.: HUH? What’s happening? Why did you wake me up from my nap?!
Cal.E Kat
for
Commissioner of
Major League Baseball
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