C.: d.c. can you come out in the front yard? I want to talk to somebody besides my kittens, but I need to get away from them for a few minutes. Being with them 24/7 is stressful! I just want to talk to an adult, but I don’t want to use the phone. That won’t allow me to get away from them.
d.: Okay, but give me a few minutes. It is my day off. I am “very comfortable” right now. Eudora insists that I put on pants before I go into the front yard. I will be out as soon as I am dressed.
Five minutes later
C.: d.c., why don’t you tell me about the television show pilot you are working on now. I need to talk about something other than work and how to get my kittens motivated.
d.: You saw the pilot a few weeks ago, Cal.E. It was called “I Need a Hero.”
C.: Okay well…I don’t remember much. My memory has been destroyed by my kittens. Refresh my memory, please.
d.: Okay, here is how our conversation went about that show…
Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed Late at night, I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy Somewhere, just beyond my reach There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder And rising with the heat It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet, yeah
I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
Up where the mountains meet the heavens above Out where the lightning splits the sea I could swear there is someone, somewhere watching me Through the wind and the chill and the rain And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood (Like a fire in my blood, like a fire in my blood Like a fire in my blood, like a fire in my blood, blood)
I need a heroI. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero. I.'m holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life
I need a hero.. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jim Steinman / Dean Pitchford
d.: (ring) I wonder who is calling me in the middle of the day? It’s Cal.E. “Hi, Cal.E. How is the head WWaKKO (hehe). Shouldn’t you still be at work? And why are you blaring a Bonnie Tyler song in the background?"
C.: Hi, d.c. Happy Cinco de Mayo! The guys from work came over for a few bites of catnip while we watch the new show on the CNN T.V. network called “I Need a Hero.” The show is using Bonnie Tyler’s song as it’s theme song. We watched the pilot episode yesterday. It is about a former juvenile delinquent who becomes a lawyer after his father figure, a cop who grew up in his neighborhood takes the main character under his wing. The m.c. decides to “walk the straight and narrow” after the cop lectures him when he arrests the m.c. for loitering. The m.c. thinks it is unfair that he gets arrested for hanging out with his friends, so he goes to law school and becomes a lawyer. Then, one of his friends gets killed in a gang turf war, and the m.c. is reminded that his mentor encouraged him to go into law enforcement. So, “Mr. Hero” - that’s the m.c.’s last name- stops being a lawyer and goes to the police academy. After passing the police academy, he becomes a cop and, eventually, a detective. When his partner is killed and he cannot save her (they were having a torrid affair and he was secretly in love with her), he decides to go to medical school and become a doctor so he can save other like his beloved late partner. That all happened in an hour!
Tonight, Mr. Hero sees someone he thinks looks like his old partner who dies while trying to jump out of a burning building. He cannot save HER, so, he decides to become a firefighter. After he becomes a firefighter, he hears some kittens in a warehouse when he is fighting a fire at an illegal lab, so he goes into the building to save them. He saves the kittens, but is doused with radioactive material. Then, he becomes a firefighting super hero who was also a cop/doctor/ lawyer. He saves humans, cats AND dogs from fates worse than death. I CANNOT watch this show totally sober. The plot is SO cliché that…
d.: Then why watch it?
C.: We are just marking time until the next show comes on. It is called “Kitty Po..,.”
d.: CAL.E!! You CANNOT watch that! It is illegal! Besides, if you charge THAT show to your expense account, The Kennel will fire you!
C.: For watching a show about kittens who perform pop music? Some of them are amazing! One played the keyboard, another played the bongos and another one played a bass. None of them were even a year old. That kitten played the fish like he OWNED him.
d.: Don’t you mean the BASS?
C.: That is what I said. The kitten played with the fish, then he ate it. It was a large bass!
d.: O-kay. Back to the drawing board. My test market did not like my pilot.
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