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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Corner


"Pink Houses"


There's a black man with a black cat Livin' in a black neighborhood He's got an interstate Runnin' through his front yard You know he thinks that he's got it so good And there's a woman in the kitchen Cleanin' up the evenin' slop And he looks at her and says, hey darlin' I can remember when you could stop a clock Oh, but ain't that AmericaFor you and meAin't that AmericaSomething to see, babyAin't that AmericaHome of the free, yeahLittle pink housesFor you and meOooh, yeahFor you and me Well, there's a young man in a t-shirtListenin' to a rockin' rollin' station He's got greasy hair, greasy smileHe says, Lord this must be my destination'Cause they told me when I was youngerSaid boy, you're gonna be presidentBut just like everything elseThose old crazy dreamsJust kinda came and went Oh, but ain't that AmericaFor you and meAin't that AmericaSomething to see, babyAin't that AmericaHome of the free, yeahLittle pink housesFor you and meOooh, little babyFor you and me Well, there's people and more peopleWhat do they know, know, knowGo to work in some high riseAnd vacation down at the Gulf of MexicoOoh, yeahAnd there's winners and there's losersBut they ain't no big deal'Cause the simple man, babyPays for thrillsThe bills the pills that kill Oh, but ain't that AmericaFor you and meAin't that AmericaSomething to see, babyAin't that AmericaHome of the free, yeahLittle pink housesFor you and meOoohOoooh, yeah...

C.: I wonder where d.c. is? We were supposed to eat lunch together since it is the only day that we both have off this week. Oh, there he is. Hi, d.c., why are you running so fast?



d.: I have no time to waste, Cal.E. I am not through with what I need to do today, and I need your help.

C.: Do you want me to help you do chores? You had a lot planned for today...

d.: No, Cal.E. I finished all my chores. Now, I want to finish writing the two books I started writing, but, well, that is where you come in.

C.: You already finished doing everything you said you would do today? You had a long list yesterday. How did you finish all those chores before noon?

d.: I used your beet juice, Cal.E., but I need some more if I am going to finish two books AND make it to work tomorrow.

C.: Back up, d.c. You aren't making any sense. Slow down and tell me what's going on.

d.: Well, I reasoned that I am so much larger than you that I would need ALL the beet juice you gave me, so I mixed it up and drank the whole container. It tasted terrible, but it gave me so much energy that I was able to paint my whole house, wash and detail all three of my and Eudora's vehicles, and load and unload the dishwasher. I did this AFTER I went to the gym and rode twenty miles on the stationary bike, lifted weights, and jogged ten miles on the treadmill. I was a little tired after that, so I went to the vitamin shoppe and bought some more beet juice, but it just did not have the kick that yours did. Whatever your secret ingredient is, it is PHENOMENAL!!

C.: (I certainly think so!) d.c. did you run a wash cycle between loading and unloading the dishwasher...

d.: I KNEW I forgot to do something!

C.: And Eudora only wanted you to paint a swath by the back porch to compare colors and see which one she wanted to paint the house with. Did you paint the whole house by hand? Also, Eudora called me. She said you were trying to detail HER car while she was trying to drive to the store!

That container was supposed to last you a whole week! I think you may have overdone it...

d.: I did NOT paint the whole house by hand. AND I waited until Eudora was stopped at a stop light before I detailed her car. Then, I went to the home store and bought a paint gun. Then, I mixed all of the paint together. That gave me enough to paint the whole house...

C.: I do not think that is what Eudora wanted you to do. Did you paint your windows and trim pink as well? You know, Eudora wanted to compare colors...

d.: Pink is pink. And I taped newspaper over the trim and windows before I started painting the house. Eudora will be pleased once she sees how much money I saved us by painting the house myself! Besides, if I can finish my last two books, I will have a completed series. Then we both will be able to retire when I sell the whole series to a publisher. We can live off of the royalties and both REALLY retire. After I retire, I can commit all of my time to participating in endurance events. That is, if YOU will cooperate and GIVE ME MORE BEET JUICE!!

C.: I don't think that is a good idea. You are not thinking clearly. Didn't you write a whole chapter in a book about the different shades of gray? You need to learn how to measure this stuff so that you are not taking too much at once. It is bad for one's heart to drink too much at one time...

d.: Gray is NOT a color. It is the combination of the black hue, which is the absence of all light and the presence of all color, and the white hue, which is, conversely, the absence of all color and the presence of all light. The two are comprehensive opposites. Gray has an unlimited amount of possibilities for the hue it will become depending on how much white or black is added to it, but it is NOT a color. It is a hue, but that is not what is important right now. What IS important is that you give me more beet juice! PLEASE Cal.E. Just this once, can't you do me a solid and give your best friend some beet juice?!

C.: I will give you enough for one day. If you want more, you must find me and show me the empty container. No more overdosing on this stuff, okay?

d.: Sure, sure, anything you say. Just give me the beet juice NOW!!


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