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One, two, three, four One, two (one, two, three, four) Let me tell you how it will be There's one for you, nineteen for me 'Cause I'm the taxman Yeah, I'm the taxman Should five percent appear too small Be thankful I don't take it all 'Cause I'm the taxman Yeah, I'm the taxman I'll tax the street (If you try to sit, sit) I'll tax your seat (If you get too cold, cold) I'll tax the heat (If you take a walk, walk) I'll tax your feet (Taxman) 'Cause I'm the taxman Yeah, I'm the taxman Don't ask me what I want it for (Ah, ah, Mr. Wilson) If you don't want to pay some more (Ah, ah, Mr. Heath) 'Cause I'm the taxman Yeah, I'm the taxman Now my advice for those who die (taxman) Declare the pennies on your eyes (taxman) 'Cause I'm the taxman Yeah, I'm the taxman And you're working for no one but me (taxman) Source: LyricFind Songwriters: George Harrison Taxman lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
C.: What are you doing, d.c.?
d.: I am looking for my receipts. Tomorrow is the deadline to file my tax returns. I need all my receipts if I am going to get a refund.
C.: Oh, no! Do I need to file a tax return?
d.: No, Cal.E. You just started working. You do not have any earned income from last year. Tomorrow's deadline is for last year's earned income. You may need to file one next year, though.
C.: So, I will need all of the receipts that I acquire throughout the year?
d.: No, not really. There is a standard deduction. The problem is that all of the deductions I have been able to take are now gone. All of my kids are grown, and my house is paid off. These are deductions one is allowed to take on his or her income taxes. I also have royalties from books and songs that I wrote that did not have taxes deducted from them. Basically, I need the receipts from the trips I took to do research for my books. I need those so that I am able to deduct the cost of those trips from my earnings. My wife says that if I can come up with enough receipts to get a large refund on our taxes, I can buy the engine and the clutch for my Mustang with it.
C.: So, if I pay ENOUGH taxes, I will get a refund?!
d.: It is more like if you pay TOO MUCH in taxes. You will need to keep up with how much you pay. If you only work part-time, you will probably get all of the money that you have paid in back.
C.: But the more I pay in, the more I will get back!? And the more I work, the more I will pay in, right?
d.: Yes, Cal.E., but not everyone looks at it that way. Some see it as the government taking money that it did not earn and using it for things that some (or most) taxpayers disagree with. Taxes are necessary to pay salaries for government workers, though. That is how your paycheck and mine both are funded.
C.: IF I can get a lot of money back on my tax refund, I can buy a new suit, a fancy cane, a top hat...
d.: You probably will not get that much refunded. Maybe enough for a nice fish dinner...
C.: IF I work full time, overtime, and extra shifts, I will have enough loot to get everything I want. Additionally, I will not be tempted to buy catnip or gamble with Tom the Tabby with the money I don't have access to, and working all the time will keep me out of trouble!. Also, I can get benefits, like health and life insurance, as well as retirement benefits! Mom and Dad will not need to take me to the vet anymore and pay for it. I will be able to do that! I will be a self-sufficient cat! I can take the bus that brings me to work to the vet's office, then work even more shifts at the kennel while I am there. My boss will be SO happy with me, he may even give me a raise! I am going to get dressed for work right now, so I won't be late! The bus should be here to pick me up in the next two hours.
d.: I don't know how, but I fear that this will, somehow, end badly.
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