d.: Well, Cal.E. is still on the lam from Tom the Tabby and his hench cat, Tucker Tucker Two, also known as “The Tuxedo.” Cal.E. escaped danger last night when the forty-two-pound hench cat tried to sneak up on her. “The Tuxedo” is so heavy that he makes as much noise as an average-sized dog when he is walking. Cal.E. has excellent hearing, as most cats do. She escaped harm THIS time, but, who knows what will happen next time? Tom is a small cat, so he does not make much noise when he walks. Cal.E. may be in trouble if he is the one who finds her!
While she is away, Cal.E. has given me permission to share excerpts from her journal with y’all. Today is day twelve.
Cal.E.’s Corner, day twelve.
Humans call twelve one dozen, for some reason. A “Baker’s Dozen” is thirteen. Do all bakers use thirteen of everything they cook? And what exactly IS a dozen, and why does it signify the number twelve?
Anyway, I have found signs of intelligent life on this cat-forsaken planet called “Earth.” I have tried to find the end of it, but was unsuccessful. I remember from my obedience school classes that Earth is a sphere. I do not know how one can find the end of it, or go beyond it, either.
Back to my discovery. I have found the most challenging, difficult game known to man or animal. It is called “Pong!” Without opposable thumbs, it is a very difficult game for me to play. The strategy involved with this video game is mind-altering!
This brings up more questions in my mind. For instance, how can a society that invented such a brilliant video game not be able to settle a dispute between billionaires and multimillionaires? Do both sides not already have enough money to last the rest of their lives? Why are they arguing about a measly few million dollars? PLAY BALL already!
Also, why can a society that can put a man on the moon and split the atom, as well as identify subatomic particles, not count election votes accurately? And why is a group of people who have similar political ideologies called “parties?” It does not seem like either of the two “parties” is having any fun! I think that the two political “parties” should be renamed ideologies. It is a good thing there are not three major ideologies, because there is no “good” party, only the bad and the ugly. You decide which is which.
Speaking of bad and ugly things, some cats must live outdoors on this planet. This is unacceptable! Many of my fellow felines have enslaved humans for their benefit. These cats get fed on a bi-daily basis, as well as have their litter boxes changed regularly. They also can sleep on their humans’ furniture. That would be much more comfortable than sleeping on the hard, unforgiving ground on this planet. No cat should be subjected to that!
Speaking of sleeping, it is time for my nap now. I will continue my discoveries and observations of this strange planet when we reconvene tomorrow. It will be my thirteenth day on this planet. Perhaps a baker can make me a cake then!
This has been Cal.E. Kat, with more food for thought.
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