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Cal.E.'s Corner


d.: Well, Cal.E is finally awake, after three days! Cal.E., how did you sleep so long?

C: I needed one more day! I just have not had ENOUGH sleep!

d.: So, how are you doing, other than being sleep-deprived?

C.: Call me “Bowel Syndrome,” for I am irritable!

d.: Because you didn’t get adequate sleep?

C.: No, that’s not it!

d.: Then why are misquoting, perhaps, the most famous opening lines of all time? I do NOT think that Herman Melville would appreciate that, if he was still living!

C.: I do NOT need any more education! I know who Herman Melville is, and the proper quote from his book. I was using “poetic license.” I was the salutatorian in my graduating class from obedience school!

d.: Didn’t your mom homeschool you for that; by yourself?

C.: Yes, why?

d.: How did you finish second, in a class of one?

C.: I AM a cat! Obedience is not in our… what is the word for knowing a lot of words and how to use them properly?

d.: Vocabulary?

C.: Yes, it was filed in my…what is it when one can think of things that happened in the past?

d.: Memory?

C.: Yes, that’s it! I have a large vocabulary and a really good memory!

d.: Okay, Cal.E. Sure. Just tell me why you are so irritated.

C.: Well, football season is over, and the Winter Olympic Games are a farce. Pro basketball is at the All-Star break, and “March Madness” has not started yet at the college level. I am BORED!

d.: I see your point, but why do you say that the Winter Olympic Games are a farce?

C.: Because, d.c., Russia was banned from the games for using illegal drugs to enhance their performances. Their athletes got in under a different name, the R.O.C, which stands for the RUSSIAN Olympic Committee. If it was not bad enough that the Russian athletes were allowed to compete, a Russian figure skater, who tested positive for a banned substance, won a GOLD medal, in a competition that is largely subjective! The judges thought that she was the best skater in that competition. What do you think about THAT?!

D.: I understand, Cal.E. The excuse was that she was only fifteen. I played sports in high school. IF I had tested positive for a banned substance, I would not have been allowed to compete in ANY sports for the rest of my high school career! The regulatory agency held US accountable for our actions, not our coaches or our parents. Anyway, our parents (or coaches) did not watch every move we made. Older siblings would drive their younger siblings to school (sometimes on motorcycles) and then drop them off and go to an after-school job. This was often AFTER football, basketball, baseball, or track practice. Whatever “training” we did for athletics was done after that, while a lot of our parents had gone to bed! They were exhausted from THEIR jobs, just trying to make ends meet. THAT sometimes required the children to have part-time jobs to help earn extra money! It was usually on the weekends when we would see the most of our parents. I think my generation grew up more quickly than my sons’ generation!

C.: Speaking of growing quickly, have you been watching the FINA swimming competitions!? Transgender women are dominating it! I wonder why?

d.: I have some thoughts about that, Cal.E. but we are out of time for today. Maybe we can discuss that tomorrow, when you have had more sleep! Just do NOT bet on the FINA swimming competitions, or the Winter Olympic Games, or the NBA All-Star game (any more than you have bet already, that is). I will try to reason with Tom the Tabby and get your money back. IN the meantime, just chill, Cal.E., please.

C.: I will d.c. (I will be chillin’ to the dough I win on the West team in the NBA All-Star game!)

CalC


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