d.: Why are you standing so close to the t.v., Cal.E. You were doing the same thing yesterday. Is there something wrong with your eyes? C.: I was TRYING to watch some NFL games for, um, "entertainment purposes," d.c., but your t.v. screen is just too small. d.; That is a 54-inch screen with high definition! C.: As I said, it is TOO small. d.: Let me look at your eyes. I think that you might have cataracts. You may need to go to the vet. C.: Will he give me catnip? d.: Maybe, while you are recovering from surgery. C.: I don't know anything about surgery. The only one I had was the one that Mom and Dad insisted I have as a kitten. They did not want ME to have kittens. I was too young, though, to remember much about it. d.: Well, I read an article that said that dogs and cats may be able to just take eye drops to correct their vision if they have cataracts. Maybe, if it works on y'all, they will try it with humans. Humans, though, often get their vision corrected with this surgery if they are near or farsighted. The surgeon just takes the lens off of the eye and corrects the problem before replacing it. C.: So, he is going to take my eyeball out and cut it open? And what about cats? Can WE get our vision corrected, too? d.: No, not the eyeball, just the lens. And, a cat, as a rule, would not be able to tell the vet if s/he can see any better. I doubt that you can have that done. C.: I can tell the vet about my vision! d.: Yes, but you are the exception, not the rule. Anyway, it is a simple surgery. Your vet may even be able to do it at his home office. C.: What is the recovery like from this surgery? And can I have visitors after I have it? d.: Yes, I am sure that you can have visitors after the surgery. And the recovery is just...lying on the couch and relaxing. You will be back to your usual routine of... lying on the couch and relaxing quickly. You won't even need to stay overnight at the vet's home office. C.: Doesn't your friend, my vet, live on a ranch? d.: Yes, why?
C.: Well there I sit buddy just a-grooming in the sun There to greet a working man when his day is done I'm gonna pack my pads and I'm gonna pack some chow I'm gonna take them down to the Cataract ranch It feels like fins poking me in the eyes It hurts so much like hell here on earth Well buddy when I die throw my body in your pickup truck's backseat And drive me to the vet at the Cataract ranch
Cataract, Cataract Makes my vision dark and black I open up my eyes, but still cannot see Tearing up now is just a part of life for me
Tom the Tabby in that mercury forty-nine The warden's puppy runnin' through the woods of Caroline Even Lucia in that black nightgown All gonna meet down at the Cataract ranch
Cataract, Cataract Makes my vision dark and black I open up my eyes, and I still cannot see Tearing up now is just a part of life for me
Hey little kitten pulling on that string so tight Playin' alone through the Southeast Texas night You're my last hope, kitty you're my last chance Don't let 'em take me to the Cataract ranch
Cataract, Cataract Makes my vision dark and black Pulled up to d.c.'s house today Cataracts came and just took my eyesight away
d.: I do NOT think that Bruce Springsteen would appreciate you changing the words to one of his songs like that!
C.: Eh, he's not THE BOSS of me.
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