The first thing I remember knowing Was a lonesome whistle blowing And a young gun's dream of growing up to ride On a freight train leaving town Not knowing where I'm bound No one could change my mind, but mama tried
One and only rebel child From the family, meek and mild My mama seemed to know what lay in store Despite all my Sunday learning Towards the bad I kept on turning 'Til mama couldn't hold me anymore
And I turned 21 in prison, doing life without parole No one could steer me right but mama tried, mama tried Mama tried to raise me better but her pleading, I denied That leaves only me to blame 'cause mama tried
Dear old daddy, rest his soul Left my mom a heavy load She tried so very hard to fill his shoes Working hours without rest Wanted me to have the best She tried to raise me right but I refused
I turned 21 in prison, doing life without parole No one could steer me right but mama tried, mama tried Mama tried to raise me better but her pleading, I denied Leaves only me to blame 'cause mama tried
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Merle Haggard
Mama Tried lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Kobalt Music Services Ltd Kms, Amanda Ghost Ltd
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C.: (If it was possible to cross a snake with a cat, would the offspring be a cake? If I could cross a cow with a horse, would the results be a how? And why DO stainless steel scalpel blades have an expiration date?) (ring) Oh, hi, d. I just wanted to call and tell you that I got sprung! The Canadian Mounted Police didn’t find a bomb at my and Ralph’s hotel, so they let me go! Can you pick me up at the airport?
d.: And you don’t have to call me, Merle Haggard, anymore. You never even called me by my name!
I I can if you can get a flight in the early afternoon. I have appointments in the morning and later afternoon, but I am off work from The Kennel for the next two days. If you can stay until tomorrow, then I can pick you up at any time during the day or early evening.
C.: No can do, d.c. One of the terms of my release is that I NEVER set foot on Canadian soil again. They want to make sure that I don’t come back. I have twenty-four hours to get across the border, or I will be put into their kennel for the rest of my life, with no chance of being paroled!! I need to get out of Canada ASAP! I can get a flight that lands in Houston at two p.m. will that work for you?
d.: I suppose, if you can meet me at the luggage claim area as soon as you get off the plane. I have an appointment at 3:30…
Buddy Bones: blah, blah, blah. That leaves only one possibility for me to recover the stolen loot and live out my last two years in an air-conditioned doghouse with staff and all the chew toys and bones a do could ever want. Let’s see what that degenerate Ralph is up to now.
Ralph: I will deny all worldly possessions and find inner peace. I will no longer seek material wealth. I will now find my center. OMMM, OMMM, OMMM
B.B.: GREAT! Now, Ralph has joined a cult, with the rest of the members of his band! Now, I will never get my paws on that stolen loot the bank robbers in the human kennel hid in London, Ontario, unless….
Tune in tomorrow, folks, and see what this sister shyster has in mind.
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