Supreme Commander of this CORNER of the universe log; discovery of planet Earth, Day Five (or Why I am Glad I Did NOT Come Earth Disguised as a Dog)
Mom and Dad, along with my three human brothers, decided that the family needed a SECOND pet. Why they decided this, I do NOT know, but they went back to the kennel and let my brothers pick out a dog to take home. I DO know that the pet they chose was NOT as smart as me, or most Earth cats. He may not even be as smart as most Earth dogs.
I think Dad just wanted a dog so that he could blame things on him. Since cats do not follow humans around their houses like dogs, it is hard to blame things on them. Dogs are different. For instance, Dad accidentally cut the cable wire with his weed eater when he was grooming the lawn. He called the cable company, who sent out a technician. Dad went into the yard to talk to the technician, who loved dogs. That was fortunate. Dad’s dog followed him closely. When the technician looked at the cable, he said that it looked like a puppy had been chewing on it. He surmised that the dog finally chewed the wires in two. He then reached down and patted the dog on the head and said, “He is just a pup. He does not know any better. I will fix the cable for free this time. Just make sure your puppy has something else to chew on.” He then took a chew toy from his truck and gave it to the dog. Dad remained silent.
Dad also likes to blame the dog when his stomach is upset. He will say, “It was the dog,” when he passes gas. Everyone then laughs. Blue Eyes is a smart kid, but he is not yet trained to use the human sandbox. Because of this, he still wears a diaper. One day, he made a mess in his diaper. Dad laid him down to change it, and almost barfed from the mess and the smell. Blue eyes looked up at Dad with his huge, crystal blue eyes and emulating his father said, “It was the dog?” Dad could not help but laugh.
As I said, dogs get blamed for everything, but seem to get away with it. When I knocked that lamp over getting my catnip quickly, the dog took the blame. It was much to my chagrin, though, that he was rewarded with another chew toy afterward. Mom and Dad just thought that he needed something else to occupy his time instead of running around the house and knocking things over. To summarize my report: Cats Rule, Dogs Drool.
This has been Cal.E. Kat with another (somewhat) interesting report on a (NOT) so interesting planet.
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