Cal.E.'s Korner
- markmiller323
- Mar 23
- 2 min read

I would rather let one thousand guilty men go free than to chase them.
Police Chief Wiggum (The Simpsons).

C.: That’s an interesting quote at the beginning of the blog, d.c.

d.: It is. You’ve been working at The Kennel for several years. Do you think that sounds like some (or most) of the security officers who work there?
C.: It does. I don’t understand how some of them keep their jobs, or got them in the first place.
d.: Like in any job, there are lazy workers, but some people, including our officers, are misunderstood.
C.: Explain, please.
d.: Well, I have access to the offer’s website, so I tried to take their entrance exam once.
C.: How did you do?
d.: I didn’t do so well, and there’s a reason for that.
C.: ???
d.: Well, my job is to make sure that everyone has what he needs to stay healthy and not to doubt what the inmates tell me, but the officers have a different job from mine.
There job is to discern when an inmate is likely to be telling the truth, and when he isn't. If the officers suspects an inmate is breaking the rules and lies about it, s/he must investigate the matter. I don’t need to do that. I must take my patient at his word.
C.: But officers do try to involve nurses, don’t they?
d.: They do, but I think that it’s a misunderstanding of what our job involves.
C.: Explain.
d.: Well, say two inmates get into a fight. The officer doesn’t see who started it, but s/he must bring the inmate to medical to be assessed. Many times, the officer will ask me if the inmate has offensive or defensive wounds on his hands, but that’s not my job.
C.: Then, what is your job?
d.: My job is to look at the hands, determine what needs to be done, and then chart my findings in the computer. If the wounds are on the front side of the inmate’s hands, I chart that the wounds are on the portal side of his hands. If the wounds are on the side of the hand where the palms are, I chart that the wounds are on the dorsal side of the hand, period.
C.: it sounds like the officers are trying to get you to do their job by asking you if the wounds are offensive or defensive.
d.: In a roundabout way, yes. But, also in a roundabout way, I answered his or her question.
C.: How?
d.: Well, the officer should know that when someone makes a fist and hits someone else, s/he will have bruises and/or lacerations on the portal side of his or her hands…
C.: And, if this person is trying to block the punch, the marks will be on the palms. I get it now.
d.: That’s good, Cal.E., because we’er out of time for today. I’ll see you on the fiip side tomorrow right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.
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C.: Is that the dorsal or the portal side?
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