Cal.E.'s Korner

It is better and more satisfactory to acquit a thousand guilty persons than to put a single innocent one to death."- -Maimonides

C.: (rin)Hey, d.c. I’m here at The Kennel, filling in for Ralph (again) because he and his band are on the NIKE tour…

d.: So, they're playing back allies in Navasota, Indian Springs, Klein and Egypt?

C.: Yes, Beauty and the Blowfish has gone big time, but that’s not what I want to talk about.

d.: Okay, then, what did you want to talk about?

C.: Well, I thought that this kennel had no violent offenders in it.

d.: Okay, and?

C.: Well, Sixto told me that I must be careful when cleaning inmate # 38762445559’s cage, because he’s a murderer.

d.: Technically, that’s true.

C.: Technically?

d.: Yes, since I’ve had direct dealings with him, I looked him up. He did kill someone, but only after that person threatened to kill his whole family. To make his point, the “victim” killed his first cousin, and then brandished a pistol at him and mouthed the words, “You’re next.”

C.: That sounds rough.

d.: Yes, well, both were involved in different cartels, so that’s something that happens in those situations. However, that’s the only person that inmate has ever killed, and he’s remorseful for that.

C.: Are there any more murderers in here?

d.: Well…yes, but not mass murderers. Some are in The Kennel for situations like this inmate, and others, according to them, are in The Kennel for killing someone in self-defense.

C.: I thought that was legal in Texas.

D.: It is, as long as there no one argues that it wasn’t in self-defense.

C.: I’ confused, so please explain.

D.: Well, some inmates are in The Kennel because of “eye witness accounts.”

C.: So, someone saw them commit the murder and testify that it wasn’t in self-defense?

d.: Yes, but eye-wetness accounts are notoriously inaccurate.

C.: Now I’m really confused.

d.: Well, the best way I can explain this is to tell you what happened to my class when I was in middle school.

C.: In the last century, like, one-hundred years ago?

d.: Not quite that long ago, but yes, in the last century, when schools had different rules. One of my teachers (and coaches) staged an incident where two boys got into an argument. Since one was much larger than the other, the smaller one set out to even the odds. He pulled a gun (really a cap pistol) on the other boy and shot him. The larger boy laid on the floor, pretending to be dead.

When the victim got up and walked away, we were all relieved, but our teacher had an assignment for u. He told us each to write, in our own words, what we saw.

C.: Did everyone say that they’d seen the same thing?

D.: We did not. One student simply wrote that the smaller boy killed the larger boy with a pistol. His account contained one sentence. After realizing that the argument was staged, one of the girls in my class decided to write her account like a news report. The teacher liked her approach so much that he asked her to go around the room and ask each of us what we saw. We all read what we'd written down.

C.: And his point was?

d.:”Don’t believe anything you hear and only one-half of what you see,” is a good rule to live by. We all saw the same thing happen, but had different views and opinions about what had happened.`

C.: And what did you write?

d.: The truth.

C.: According to you.

d.: Exactly. Now you’re getting my point. As far as there being convicted murderers in The Kennel, there are some, but most have been in The Kennel for over thirty years and aren’t apt to be any trouble. The ones that bother me, though, who are termed ”nonviolent” offenders are the ones who use their computer skills to steal money from the elderly and the not-so-well informed. One of those inmates got twenty years for doing that because one of his victims committed suicide. 

C.: Did he get out of The Kennel alive?

d.: He did, a few years ago.

C.: Well, I know how you feel about people like that, and I’ve sen you and your son, the expert marksman, take target practice with your rifles and y’all are both very accurate. So where is that inmate now?

d.: That’s a need-to know basis, Cal.E.

C.: Well, at least tell me if he’s still alive.

d.:...That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.