d.: Well, I told Cal.E. that I would do some “creative editing” of her manuscript entitled THE CAT FROM OUT OF THIS WORLD. I’ve been putting that off, but I suppose I have time to do that now; so, here goes.
The sun rising in the East startled me awake. Then, my heart and my stomach sank at the same instant. I was the queen of the Planet of the Talking Cats, but there was someone who ranked above me: My husband, King Tom.
Tom wasn’t as upset, though, as the cat who outranked him: Meow Z. Tongue, the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy.
He was the one that had me thrown in this dungeon of a four-star hotel until he and King Tom could decide what my punishment should be.
I was hungry the day before, and I saw the royal servants with my favorite dish: Rodent prepared for Royalty. I was the queen of the planet, so that made me royalty. That’s why I had assumed that the servants were bringing the dish to me, since I’d expressed my hunger to several of the royal servants. I needed to fill my stomach, because it had been a full two hours since I’d eaten my last meal.
Tom and Meow went back and forth with this discussion. A few days before this happened, Meow had decreed that anyone caught stealing food from royalty must be banished from the planet. However, Meow Z. Tongue wanted a harsher punishment than simply circling the Cat Galaxy in a spaceship until it ran out of fuel, he wanted me to die a quicker death. That was what I surmised by eavesdropping on his and my husband’s conversation.
No matter how hard Tom tried to convince Meow that I shouldn’t be punished because I was royalty and the dish only specified that it should be eaten by royalty, Meow disagreed. After a full two minutes of discussing the situation, Meow summoned me and put me in a spaceship.
After he set the GPS device, I noticed that there was extra fuel in the spaceship’s tank. As I was taking off from the mouse pad that launched spacecraft on my planet, I received a message on my spaceships computer. It read: Your mission, that you cannot refuse due to the fact that you’re a criminal cat, is to find energy to fuel your planet. This planet will be completely devoid of energy in one million cat naps, or when the sun explodes, whichever comes first. We are so close to the sun that we’ll be the first to go. In that case, no energy supply will be necessary. However, this isn’t predicted to happen in the near future, probably one billion years, give or take one million years. That, Calculating Einstein Katt, is much more that two, as high as you know how to count.
When you reach your planet of destination, please survey the planet and send back reports as soon as possible. Do not act on your own, please simply follow orders.
I was down with Meow’s plan, until I saw that I was headed for the most cat forsaken, backwards planet in the universe: Earth! How could Meow Z. Tongue give me such a harsh punishment, I lamented. On that planet, humans actually own cats. Oh, the horror!
d,: I guess I’ll need to pick up here tomorrow because I have bit plans for tonight. So, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Pleas join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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