Cal.E.'s Korner

We’re still waiting for the main event here in the Astrodome; but we do have an interview with one of the participants, Tom the Tabby. Tom, you’re goin gup against your former best friend and business partner for the World Association of Catfighting and Knowledge of Ornithology milled weight cat fighting title. Do you have any comments for your opponent, Tucker tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by you); the holder of six heavyweight and lightweight WACKO Cat fighting Championship belts?

TTT. Yes. T, you might…

Float like a battleship

And stand like a tree

But tonight,

My former BFF

You’ll be beaten by me

The Original Triple T

Tome the Tabyyy

That’s me,

The new WACKO Middle Weight Cat Fighting Champion of the World, after this fight!

Okay, folks, there’s still a few hours to go, but get ready, because we have a dandy for you tonight here on channel 2.22222769

C.: d.c., there are still several hours before T and Tom fight, so I would like to ask a question, if you don’t mind.

d.: Well, thanks for asking me over to watch the cat fight on T’s enormous t.v., Cal.E.

What is the question?

C.: A question is an interrogative statement used to derive information, but I’m the one asking them, not you.

d.: Okay, fire away, then.

C.: Well, I got an offer to read excerpts from my book on a podcast…

d.: Oh, boy. How much money do they want?

C.: None. They just want to give me some exposure. My question is, does this count as my book being published or not?

d.: That’s an interesting question, Cal.E. The author of the book THE MARTIAN, Andy Weir, sef-published the book and then read excerpts from it on his podcast. It was picked up by Crown publishing three years later, and then became a very successful movie.

C.: Well, it sounds like it was risk-averse since he’d already published the book himself, but Mars? Com on! That’s a stink hole in a bad neighborhood.

d.: How do you know?

C.: When I was pummeling to Earth in my spacecraft, I heard warnings not to go anywhere near that part of the Milky Way Galaxy.

d.: I didn’t think that there was any life on that planet. At least, not that has been proven.

C.: By humans on this planet, but cats from the Planet of the Talking Cats know not to go to that planet because it does have life, although whether or not it’s intelligent life is debatanble.

d.: How do you mean?

C.: Well, there are amoebas,  algae scum and, of course, cock roaches. They can survive anything.

d.: I see. Hey, the main event is about to start.

C.: It is, but we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for a replay of the cat fight of the century. Well, maybe not the century, but the decade…or maybe the year,,,or month…it will certainly be the fight of the day, so please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.