Cal.E.'s Korner

Well, the Cat Fight of the Century is days away, and one of the preliminary activities is for the two contestants to exchange insults. The weigh in is one place where this happens, but there is another timeslot reserved just for this.

Two former cartel members who were best friends and tag-team partners are opposing each other to see who really the best cat fighter in the world is. These insult contests can get quite graphic, but these are two highly educated cats. Both have received a Doctorate in Playing and Hiding from the College of the Cat Skills. This should make for an interesting event. Tom the Tabby has won the coin flip and will go first. Let’s listen to this educated cat’s insults for his former best friend/

TTT..: Tucker, your, your usual weight exceeds the amount of weight a cat of any size is expected to carry on his frame. However, getting down to the middle weight limit for poundage seems to agree with you. You are looking quite fit and svelte, if I may say so.

Tux: you may, my good Tom. And, might I add, you seem to have taken this cat fight seriously. You don’t have your usual bulge in the lower part of your abdomen, and your muscles on your appendages are quite well defined. Bravo, my good man.

TTT.: Why, thank you, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by me, I might add). You are such an efficient cat fighter that it takes longer for the announcer to introduce you with that distinguished name than your cat fights usually last. However, do not expect that to be the case when the two of us fight, my good man.

Tux.: Why? Are you going to ask the announcer to shorten the introduction by butchering my good name and only calling me T?

TTT. That thought has crossed my mind, T. Then, I will dispose of you like I do a good Cuban cigar after I no longer desire to smoke it or chew on the end of it.

T.: Well, try as you might, you will not dispose of me, Triple T, I am the best and most courageous cat fighter that has ever lived one life, much less nine…

TTT. Is that in refence to your advanced age, my good cat?

T.: Well, that was a clever comeback, if I do say so myself, Tom. Let’s hope, for your safety’s sake, t hat your claws are at least as sharp as you whit.

TTT. Bravo, I say, my good man. T, your whit is riveled only by my own. Let us decide who is the better cat fighter in the ring of honor, not by exchanging hurtful word

Tux.: I agree, my good man. We’ll decide this in the Ring of Honor, but not with words. Let us use our bodies and our appendages like some of our archaic ancestors did .before we became domesticated and dependnat on humans for food and protection.

TTT. Agreed

Well, this insult blood bath seems to be over, so that's the wrap for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.