T.: Hahahaha! I’m still messing with you, Cal.E. Even though we’ve only been married about two years, I know better than to walk in on a queen cat when she’s in the sandbox. You should have seen the expression on your face, like you’d been caught doing something terrible!
C.: Well, I guess that I just have a guilty conscience. Since I was a catnip addict, and then a gambling addict, I always feel as if I’m doing something wrong. You did have me going, though, T. You have a good sense of humor, though. That’s one of the main reasons I married you.
T.: So, what’s next?
C.: What do you mean?
T.: Well, you went to The Planet of the Talking Cats to run for Ruler of that planet when it was determined that your first husband, King Tom, was deemed too senile to run the planet. You also visit poor little kitties in The Kennel and help them deal with their situation, whatever that may be. So, what crusade are you going to take up next.
C.: It’s funny you should ask, T. Lately, I’ve felt a hankering to get published, but haven’t found a traditional publisher who wanted to publish my brilliant biographical book. But, there are other options, like self publishing. That’s a big trend now, but that makes it harder because there’s a lot of competition. I need a gimmick to get publicity for my book.
T.: And what did you have in mind?
C.: Well, some of these hybrid publishers offer good packages, but not a lot of advertising. They want the author to do that him or herself. However, I found one hybrid publisher that promised to get my book on the best seller list. All I need is for you to write me a blank check, and I can get my book published and put on the best seller list.
T.: I can’t write a blank check, Cal.E., even to you. Although we’re married and I adore you, I still need to keep my accounting straight. So, how much dough will it take for you to earn some bread with your book?
C.: Not that much.
T.: How much is” not that much”?
C.: Just $30,000.
T.: !@#@!@## (sensored).
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