C.: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve traveled back in time to bring you this special edition of Cal.E.’s Korner. In light of yesterday’s blog post, I’ve asked a special guest to be on our show tonight. This man claims to be an expert on head and brain injuries due to personal experience. Please help me welcome Mr. Justin Case!
“Justin, it says on my card that you’re the backup quarterback for the replacement Houston Oilers?”
JC: Yes.
C.: Well, how does that work since the Oilers moved to Tennessee and changed their name to the Tennessee Titans twenty-seven years ago?
JC.: What year is it?
C.:2024.
JC: But you said that you’d traveled back in time. So, is it possible that you traveled farther back in time and landed in a time when the Houston Oilers did exist?
C.:...Let’s talk about something else. I understand that you are not a big advocate for hard plastic helmets. So, do you wear your leather helmet everywhere?
JC: Shouldn’t I? Danger lurks at every corner. A man must be prepared.
C.: Okay, why don’t you tell me about your football career?
JC.: Well, I started playing football in high school. I was a two-way player for the head coach, General Disaster. He was ex-military, so he hired two like-minded former military men to lead his offense and his defense. I played safety for Corporal Punishment on defense and quarterback on offense for Major Disaster. Except, then we weren’t called quarterbacks. I was a single wing tailback.
C.: Let me look that one up on my phone…
JC.: What is that?
C.: It’s a cell phone.. Have you never seen one?
JC. No, but how are you going to look something up on a telephone? Don’t you need an encyclopedia?
C.: No… I found it in Wikipedia…
JC.: Is that some kind of witchcraft?
C.: No, I don’t think so, but I don’t know that for sure. Anyway, ”In the single wing offense, the ball was snapped directly to the left halfback, or the tailback, who would make the decision to run, pass, give the ball to another back, or punt. Wow! Y’all must have been great athletes!
JC.: Thank you, I think, what were we talking about?
C.: Football and head injuries.
JC.: Yes, I’m against head injuries, as a rule.
C.: As a rule?
JC.: Well, sometimes its necessary for one to stick his head down and plow for yardage. If you take one for the team and pass out, the trainer will help you come to with some ammonia tablets, and then hold up two fingers and ask you how many fingers he’s holding up. If you get the right answer, you get to go back into the game.
C.: And the trainer always holds up two fingers?
JC.: Not always, just if the player is important to the team and the coach needs him to go back into the game.
C.: I see. Well, it appears that you were very important to you team. How many times have you “taken one for the team?”
JC.: I’m sorry, I don’t recall. Now, what were we talking about?
C.: Head injuries.
JC.: Oh, yes, I’m agin’ um….
Hey, Cal.E., you said that you’d traveled back in time, right?
C.: Yes, why?
JC: Well, it is football season, and there’s a game on this new fangled contraption called a television might near ever’ night. Wouldn’t you know who wins each game and by how much?
C.: …That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner..
(Now, where did I put Tom’s phone number? I can rack up betting on football and pay my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo-who rally needs a shorter nickname- Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, the holder of five championship heavyweight cat fighting belts all the money I owe him unless…)
d.: Tune in tomorrow, folks, and we’ll find at what Cal.E. is thinking, since it’s all being written down in this blog.
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