C.: (Ring). (I wonder who could be calling me at this number? I was very specific with all my kittens. I told them not to call me while I was at work in outer space! Oh, it’s d.c.)
“Hi, d.c. What’s up?”
d.: Well, I just had a feeling that I should call you. Are you having trouble with something?
C.: Actually, yes. I was just about to call the Los Vegas hotline
to place several bets on football games this weekend. I did imaginary betting yesterday on the college games and was 100% correct, so I was going to bet on the professional games tomorrow.
d.: It’s a good thing I called when I did, then….
C.: Yes, you could save me some intergalactic charges by placing my best for me. I’ve got Minnesota to win by ten, Pittsburgh to eke out a win but not cover the spread….
d.: No, Cal.E. I knew that I needed to call you to stop you from doing something detrimental. I’m not going to place your bets for you, but I will stay on the line with you until this desire to bet passess…Hold on for a minute, I’m getting another call and it’s important.
Okay, I’m back. Now, where were we?
C.: You were about to place some bets for me.
D.: No, I was going to stay on the line with you to stop you from placing bets on football games that you have no control over…hold on, I have another call.
Okay, I’m back.
C.: And just in a nick of time. I just learned, from my online newspaper,
that New Orleans’ star kicker is out for the game, so PIttsburgh should cover the spread. I should double up my bet on that game…
d.: No, Cal.E., you shouldn’t.
C.: Then what the heck am I going to do for entertainment? This spaceship flies itself with the help of a computer and twenty-seven people working around the clock on the ground in Houston. I just finished reading my online newspaper for today; and I’ve already contacted Meow Z. Tongue, and he’s going to lower the forcefield to let me land safely on the Planet of the Talking Cats. I have nothing to do, and, if I watch the football games on my television, I’ll jones to bet on them.
D.: Don’t you have a radio?
C.: I do. I’ll check it out… Oh, wow, this is good.
d.: Why do you say that?
C.: Because my radio will not only pick up American stations, but radio stations in foreign countries, too, so I’m all set.
d.: What station are you listening to now, Cal.E.?
C.: WWL in New Orleans, Louisiana.
d.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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