C.: Oh, hi d.c. Come on in, but I thought that you had a project you were working on.
d.: That got cancelled.
C.: Why?
d.: Well, I was going to “borrow some grass” form one of my neighbors. I saw that he had some loose grass just lying around on the sidewalk, and I was going to us it to fill in all the divots that everyone who came to your surprise welcome home party are making on my yard.
C.: I see. You said “borrow. The grass.” Were you going to give it back?
d.: Well,,,no. But it doesn’t matter because someone else stole it before I could get back to his house after I got my mail.
C.: d.c., why do you insist on getting your mail as soon as it comes if it’s in a lockbox?
d.: Some people are really good at picking locks, Cal.E.
C.: Do you receive a lot of important mail?
d.: Well…no, most of the important stuff comes in my email, or is instant messaged to me, or texted, oir, if it’s really important I may get a phone call. Anyway, is there something I can help you with, my fine feline friend?
C.: Actually, there is. I’m trying to write a speech to let everyone here know how touched I am that they all came to welcome me home.
d.: Yes, I am an author. Maybe I can help. Read me what you have so far.
C.: Okay, here goes: Friends, relatives, ladies and gentlemen and nonbinary individuals. I decided to change that, though to this: My fellow Americans, naturalized citizens and those of you who have “sipped under the radar” to enter this country… but that didn’t sound good, so I wrote this: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear..
d.: Cal.E., you can’t plagiarize Shakespeare. Forget the greeting. Let me hear what else you’ve written.
C.: That’s as far as I’ve gotten, d..c.
d.: Well, let me take a gander at it and I’ll get back to you with your new, improved speech tomorrow; because we’re out of time for today. Pleas join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E’s Korner.
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