It is always darkest before the dawn.- Thomas Fuller
d.: I think I’ll call Cal.E. and see how her campaign to become Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats is going. (ring). Hmm… This call may take a while to go through, since it must travel ten thousand light years to get from this planet to POTTC, so I’ll let my mind wander while my sophisticated intergalactic phone rings.(ring)
What Thomas Fuller said about it being darkest before the dawn he was using as an allegory to let people knw that things will improve when they are going bad. However, anyone who must get up much before the sun rises knows this is true. It is actually darker at around five o’clock in the morning than at midnight (ring)….
Shon and Big Boy are getting up in age, so they will probably need to be replaced soon. It’s better to have two animals than one, because they will keep each other occupied when your busy or away from home, so we’ll need to get two cats to replace those two when the die. To go along with Thomas Fuller’s saying, I’ll get a black cat that most people would name Midnight, but I won’t name it that. (ring) Since it’s darker at five in the morning than at midnight, I’d name my black cat Cinco. And I’d get a white cat is its playmate. Cinco de Mayo is a popular holiday in Texas, and May is a popular name for girls born in that month, so I’d call that cat Mayo. (ring) Most people would think that I was calling her her Mayo because she’s white, and so is Mayonnaise, so most would assume that I’m just calling her Mayo as a shorten version of Mayonnaise. (Ring). It works both ways.
And, T. Puppy would need a playmate as well, because she’d be jealous of our new cats having each other to play with, but the new dog would need to be able to play baseball with T. Puppy Katt. (ring) What would one name a baseball playing dog? (ring)….Well, I can’t think of any names for a baseball playing dog, but Rover is a position is softball, so I’d name the new dog Rover. (ring)’
Rover is a popular name for dogs, and I think that it originated from the Bible, in the Old Testament. The King James Versions says, “Moreover the dogs licked his blood.”. I think some people didn’t see the ‘s’ at the end of the word dog, and thought it was a single dog that licked up all the blood. But that’s a long name for a dog. He might not answer to such a long name because dogs have a short attention span. That’s probably why the people who wanted to give their dogs a Biblical name just named their dogs “Rover” for short, so the dogs would come when they called them. That is, unless the dog had no legs. Then, it don’t matter what you called him because he ain’t comin.’
(ring)
Hello, you have reached the voicemail of Calculating Einstein Katt, the next Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats. If you feel that you have reached this voicemail in error and you’re on a different planet, then you just wasted a lot of money, as well as my time….LEARN HOW TO DIAL AN INTERGALACTIC PHONE ALREADY!!
If you haven’t reached this voicemail in error, then leave a message at the been with the time, date, your name, your planet, your email address, your employer’s phone number and your home landline, your mailing address, your cell phone number, and the cell phone number of your three closest friends or family members, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I feel like it…er..no, wait, I’m running for office.. did I say that out loud? I’ll get back to you just as soon as I’ve checked the three credit references that you’ll need to leave in the voicemail so that I’ll know if you have enough money to contribute to my campaign. You have three seconds to leave this information. (beep)
D.: Well, um, well (beep).
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