What song is it you want to hear?
FREE BIRD!!
For I must be traveling on, now
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see
And this bird you cannot change
Oh-oh-oh-oh-o
And the bird you cannot change
And this bird you cannot change
Lord knows I can't change
d.: (I’d better call Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken back and see how he’s doing. He doesn’t know when or if Cal.E. is coming back to this planet, so he’s bound to be sad) (ring)
“Oh, hi Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, how’s it going?
T.: Not so well, but I’m trying to keep busy. I’ve upped my training to six hours a day, and now sleep the rest of the day after I’ve eaten a good meal. That keeps me from thinking about my wife, Cal.E., leaving me to go back to the Planet of the Talking Cats to run a campaign to become the leader of that planet for a lifetime, but it’s hard to do.
d.: I tell you what, my wife, Eudora,
is still visiting with her sister, Yetta Nather
and her husband, A. Nather. He really likes Nutter butter peanut butter sandwich cookies. He thinks they're delicious.
They decided to take a cruise on the Nather’s cruise ship, and my best friends and next-door neighbors, Horace and Hortense Higginbottham, decided to go on the same cruise. That means that we’re both as free as birds, for the time being, so let’s get together and paint the town red.
T.: So your safe’s sister is named Yetta Nather and her husband’s name is A. Nather?
d.: Yes, and A. named the cruise ship and cruise line that he owns after his wife.
T.: Hmm, do they have any kids?
d.: Yes, a daughter named Gretta.
T.: …Okay…Well, your offer sounds good, and I like birds. They’re really good with hollandaise sauce, but I’m on a special diet. I’m also on the wagon for the next four years because I’m training for the Cat Olympics, so eating catnip is out.
d.: I don’t eat catnip either. What about a nice steak dinner, then?
T.: I can’t do that, either. I want to have as many cat fights as possible while Cal.E. is gone, and I want to stay at my present weight of 19.9999999987 pounds so that I can fight as in the light heavy weight division. I must watch my weight carefully.
d..: What are you eating, then?
T.: Kale shakes, mainly. Every now and then I eat a small rodent, but that’s only on special occasions.
d.: I don’t like rodent, and I don’t think that I would fit in your car, anyway. Why don’t I just come over and we can swim in your pool at Wayne Manor…
T.: I’m a cat. Even though I was born knowing ho to swim, I don’t like to swim. IDK why Cal.E. insisted on having one put in. Something about it being a status symbol.
d.: Then, why don’t we just shoot pool? I’ll bring some coke…
T.: I told you that I was on the wagon. And… isn’t that illegal, and aren’t you drug tested at your work?
d.: Not cocaine, Coca Cola. Soda isn’t illegal, and I’ll bring diet pop so that you won’t need to worry about extra calories.
T.: That sounds good. I’ll see you around seven, then?
d.: That’s a little late for me, T. Why don’t we say 6:59?
T.: That sounds good. I’ll see you then.
Later that same evening
d.: Wow, T. This house is amazing! And what a nice pool table. It’s full length, not a short one like most in home pool tables are. (ding) I’ll get the door, you just pour yourself a coke and I’ll see who it is.
“What are you doing here?”
That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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