d.: (ring) Hello? Oh, hi Cal.e.. I’t s nice to hear from you. How is the election going?
C.: Not too well. Tom isn’t a problem because he talks into a banana, thinking it’s his phone. However, a third party independent candidate has entered the election for Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats, and he has enough money to buy the election if he chooses to do that because he’s the heir to the family fortune of the richest family on POTTC.
d: Wow! What’s his name?
C.: Ronald Dump.
d.: And, I suppose that his family makes dump trucks?
C.: They do, but it’s what they do with them that makes so much money for them.
d.: And what’s that?
C.: They use their trucks for their business.
d.: Which is?
C.: Emptying all the litter boxes on the planet.
d.: Is that a lucrative business on your native planet?
C.: It’s a planet of eight billion cats, so what do you think?
d.:…I think that I need to finish editing your manuscript for your short story, a Strange Planet.
I got off the large truck at a fueling station in the city where I’d began my voyage, Houston, Texas. As I was walking down the street, someone called an animal control Officer captured me and took me to The Kennel. That’s where I met the one person on the planet who spoke Catonese, a nurse named d.c. scot.. d.c. warned me not to let anyone know that I was an alien or that I could speak English, or I’d be subject to experimentation. He said that his best friend and his wife, Horace and Hortense Higgins fostered stray animals and that he would arrange for them to take me in. Since d.c. lived next door to them, he’d be able to keep a close eye on me.
The next day, Horace and Hortense came to pick me up, and they adopted me. I lived with my human mom and dad next door to my best human friend until I met and married my third husband. We now live at the end of the street that d.c. and Mom and Dad live on in Wayne Manor.
I have met many interesting animals in my time here on Planet Earth. I’ve been through Catnip addiction, cat fights and a gambling addiction that exposed me to the Triple T Cartel. However, because of the incident that exposed me to the Triple T Cartel, I met my third (and final) husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken. We’re ecstatic with each other.
As for the rest of my adventures on this planet, you can read about it at https://markmiller323.wixsite.com/website on the blog entitled Cal.E.’s Korner, which is an (almost) daily blog on X, and Facebook written by my partner, d.c. scot, and me, Cal.E. Katt.
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