d.: I’m done for, Cal.E. I thought finishing an Ironman distance triathlon was hard, but that was twenty-three years ago. I’m not in as good of shape as I was then. That two mile swim holding T and then cycling 100 miles holding him on my bike and running a marathon in beach sand afterward did me in. How are you still going?
C.: Well, I can swim fairly well, and J.
held me on the bike. Then, I caught a ride on your back while you were running. I guess you didn’t notice.
d.:???!! Well, anyway…oh, no, here come the robot cats. How did they get here?
C.: Perhaps the accessed a passenger vehicle with an internal combustion engine and accessed a throughway.
d.: Do you mean they got in their car and drove here on the highway?
C.: Well… yes. And my husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken still isn’t awake,
and he’s our best hope of fighting these robot cats off since he holds championship belts in five different heavyweight categories of cat fighting.…
zoom zoom zoom
Boom boom boom boom
look, up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s
Here she comes, that Karate Cat
Coming to vanquish the foe with a mighty blow
So don't be afraid anymore
Cause things won't be like they've been before
"Here I come to save the day!"
Thank goodness Karate Cat is on her way
So let the trumpet players play
For Karate Cat is here today!
Here she comes, that Mighty Cat
Just like a bolt from the blue
With a sun that's true
Fighting evil, fighting crime
And always there in the nick of time
Here she comes to save the day!
And she will prove that crime will never pay
So let the trumpet players play
For Karate Cat is here today!
Zoom
C.: ELAC? I thought that you had returned to your home planet, HTRAE, Earth’s mirror planet where evil is good and good is evil to fight evil (? good?) there.
E.: I did, but then these guys came to tell me that y’all needed help
We're the mighty watchful eye,
Guardians beyond the blue,
The invisible front line,
Warfighters brave and true.
Boldly reaching into space,
There's no limit to our sky.
Standing guard both night and day,
We're the Space Force from on high.
Semper Supra (c) Department of the U.S. Air Force. All rights reserved.
d.: It’s no use. Even the space force can’t seem to help us, but maybe these guys can.
Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
climbing high into the sun;
Here they come, zooming to meet our thunder,
at 'em, boys, give'er the gun!
[give'er the gun, now!]
C.: No, it’s no use. Even the mysterious one-armed man, who swam the whole two miles with d.c. and J. with only one arm can’t fight them off.
We’re doomed if ELAC, a powerful alien cat, the U.S. Space Force, the U.S. Air Force and the mysterious one-armed man can't help us. We’re doomed, unless…
d.: Tune in tomorrow, folks, and find out if another branch of the U.S. Armed Services can save the four of us, or if we’re all doomed, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.
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