Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Hello?

d.: It’s me, Cal.E., d.c., and I’ve been giving our conversation yesterday a lot of thought.

C.: What conversation?

d.: The one about your book that you want made into a movie.

C.: Oh, that. Well, how much is this going to cost me…I mean my third husband, the six-time World Association of Cat Fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The (former) Cat fighter Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former cat-fighting tag-team partner, Tom The Tabby).

d.: That brings up a question in my mind, Cal.E.

C.: What’s that?

d.: Well, a question is an interrogative statement used to derive information. Since English isn’t your first language, I suppose you didn’t know that.

C.: Okay, d.c. what is your interrogative statement that you want to use to derive information from me?

d.: Well, T never really defeated his old WACKO tag-team cat-fighting partner in Tom the Tabby’s weight class. When they fought in the middle-class division, the fight was declared a draw. So, does Tom get to retain his title belt, since no rematch has ever been scheduled, and T’s now retired?

C.: It does. Tom is the champion of his division until he’s defeated.

d.: What about the six other divisions that T held the championship belts in?

C.: Well, I’ve been doing some research on this, out of curiosity. I am a cat, and we are curious. This is what I read about that question that you just asked.

According to WACKO guidelines, a series of cat fights must be held in each division to determine which cats are the best in each of the six divisions that T held the WACKO heavy-weight championship belts in. IN the super heavyweight division, the cat fights must be held on alternate Tuesdays, unless those occur on odd numbered days of the month. Then, the bouts will be held on the Friday that immediately follows that Tuesday, but only in months with an “E” in them.

As far as the open class Wacko Heavy Weight Cat Fighting division, the bouts will be held on Thursdays through Sundays, unless otherwise noted. Since this division has no weight restrictions, the Super Heavy Weight cat fighters are welcome to participate in these events as well as the cats who are usually in this division.

In the WACKO Heavy Heavy Weight division, the bouts must be held on Mondays, unless it is the first Monday of the month. That is a mandatory rest day for all cat fighters.

In the heavy weight division, these bouts will be held on the Tuesdays that the Super Heavy Weight bouts are not held.

In the WACKO Light Heavy Weight Division, the bouts must all be held on Wednesdays, unless otherwise stated.

And, in the Welterweight division, the bouts will be held on the Fridays that are not occupied by the cat fights that could not take place on alternate Tuesdays because the day of the month is an odd-numbered one.

Now, what plan did you produce for my book so that it can be converted into a movie?

d.….. I’ll need to get back to you on that. I’ve lost my train of thought.

  ????

C.: So, I suppose that’s the end of today’s cat ta(i)le. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.