Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
d.: (Hmm… this beach doesn’t seem to have wifi. I’ll never be able to write my blog now).
C.: d.c., while we’re sitting here, waiting for the robot cats to drop kick us through the uprights of life, maybe we could have a conversation. You often say that thinking about something else helps you figure out how to solve a problem.
d.: That’s true, Cal.E. What do you want to talk about?
C.: Well, I read recently that some of my namesake’s theories have been disproven. Is that slander or libel?
d.: It’s neither, Cal.E. Albert Einstein based his theories on his observations and experiments. Since he wasn’t trying to mislead anyone, it wasn’t considered to be harmful. Besides, it would be hard to sue someone who’s been dead for over fifty years.
C.: Well…what’s the difference between libel and slander?
de.: Slander is speaking something untrue and harmful of another person. Libel is when the same thing is done in print. The most famous recent libel case involved Sir Elton John suing Guardian News for printing things about him that weren’t true (Columbia University Press, 2024).
C.: And did he win?
d.: Yes, he was awarded one million pounds.
C.: Is that a lot?
d.: That would be about one point two six million American dollars. He probably didn’t need the money, he was just trying to make a point, since he could afford a good lawyer.
C.: Do you know any good lawyers?
d.: No comment.
C.: Well, since libel is defined as false information in print, what about all these books that are not based in reality, like fantasies and novels, isn’t that libel?
d.: No, Cal.E., people understand that, when they read a fictitious story black can be white, blue can be red, up can be down…
C.: And cats can be from other planets, learn to pilot a spaceship and land it where his or her language can be understood by the dominant inhabitants of that planet?
d.: Yes, Cal.E., exactly. Oh, thanks for the conversation. I think I know how to get to the airport now.
C.: How?
d.: Well, all cats are born knowing how to swim,
but robot cats would probably rust in the water. Also, there are, conveniently, bicycles on the other shore. We can only ride them so far, and then we’ll need to run the rest of the way to the airport. It will be like competing in a triathlon.
C.: How, pray tell, am I going to ride a bike, or will T. be able to swim when he’s unconscious?
d.: I’m a really good swimmer. I can hold T in one arm…
C.: But, that would leave you with one (arm to swim with).
d.: If the mysterious one-armed man can do it, so can I. You can swim by yourself. When we get to the other shore, J. and I can hold each of you on our bikes. Then, one of us will need to hold T. while we run. We might need to swap off every now and then, but this plan should work.
C.: I don’t see how, d.c. I just want to give up and quit.
d.: Cal.E., to quote the “Father of the Ironman,” John Collins, “There is a point where it would be okay to quit, everywhere, but in the back of your mind. At that point, if you go on and finish, you win. If you quit, you lose. It’s that simple.”(Plant, 1999.)
And that, Cal.E. Katt, is life in a nutshell. If we follow my plan, we have a chance to live. If we don’t, we probably won’t survive.
C. Well, I might as well put on my swim goggles and “tri” (hee hee).
d.: Tune in tomorrow, folks, to our fictional blog and find out if Cal.E., T., J. and I will survive or be dropkicked through the uprights of life by robot cats on a deserted island (except for the robot cats, two humans and two cats) and if, contrary to what Yoda believes, there really is a tri.
REFERENCES
Columbia University Press (2024) John V. Guardian news- global freedom of expresson.
Plant, M. (1999). Iron Will: the triathlete’s ultimate challenge. Ulyses Press. Pleasantville, N.Y. Second edition. p. 59.
Comments