One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call
He called Alice, when she was just small
When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice, I think she'll know
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's off with her head
Remember what the Dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Grace Wing Slick
d.: (Now, let’s see. Did I take all my memory meds today? Those pills really help me to remember things, if I can just remember to take them).. I do know, though, to take them with plenty of food. I at least remember that.
C.: Okay, d.c. out with it.
d.: Out with what?
C.: Tell me the name of the medication that you gave Meow Z. Tongue so that I could commandeer the remote control for his robot cat army and keep him from using them to dropkick the earth through the goal posts of life. Then, he was going to end the world as we know it; after commandeering all the resources on this planet to power the Planet of the Talking Cats when it runs out of power in one million catnaps.
d.: Oh, yes. It’s funny that this particular med knocks earth cats out, but I wasn’t sure that it would have any effect on an alien cat. That’s why I was going to test it out on you, but I thought better of that. We needed you to use your quickness to commandeer the remote control for Meow’s army.
C.: Well, thank you for not making me take…what was the name of the medication?
d.: Which medication? I mean, I take several, so you’ll need to be more specific.
C.: Oh, for cat’s sake, d.c.! Tell me the name of the med that knocked Meow Z. Tongue out!
d.: Oh, that. It was Gabapentin.
C.: Gabby who now?
d.: Not who, what.
C.: I thought that What was on second.
d.: If who’s on first, then, what were we talking about again?
C.: You should really get a pill caddy, d.c. That way, you’ll know which meds you have and haven’t taken on a particular day.
d.: Oh, I did buy one of those, but I forgot where I put it; or did I go to the store to buy one and forget to get it?
C.: TAKE ALL YOUR MEMORY PILLS, D.C.!
d.: Why?
C.: Because you’ve obviously forgotten to take them today.
d.: Why do you say that?
C.: Oh, for cat’s sake. Where are your pills?
d.: I usually keep them in the bathroom.
C.: (And that he can remember… uh oh, the big guys are here again. No wonder d.c. didn’t take his memory pills today).
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