Oh, do it
Oh, do it
Do it
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle
Oh, do it
Oh, do it
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle, do the hustle
Do the hustle
C.: (Now that I’ve dealt with Tom the Tabby, I have some time to myself. I’ll let my mind wander and ask myself some rhetorical questions, like, “If a murder of crows actually murdered someone, would they be called a murder of murderers, or just The Murdering Crows?” That second one sounds like a good name for a Punk Rock band.
“And, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, why would he want to? Would it be to his advantage if he chucked wood? And what, exactly, is chucking wood? Chunking wood is dangerous, but chucking wood is confusing. I’ll look that up on CCN. Hmm, here’s what Cats Need kNowledge has to say about that.
‘Wood chucking is the well-known practice , used by average and bad sales reps and lead generators, of submitting weak or outright false sales to management in a pathetic attempt to inflate their key metrics.”
Hmm. Why would a wood chuck be generating sales leads or selling….exactly what would a wood chuck sell if a wood chuck could sell leads for sales, or sale…sails? Wood chunks? Would he sell wood chunks to other wood chucks? And, of what use are wood chunks to wood chucks? Are the barbeque chefs? And why is d.c. coming to my house?
“Hi, d.c., what are you doing here, may I ask?
d.: Well, I decided to water my yard a few days earlier than usual, because it’s going to rain today. I may miss the chance to water my yard if it rains until Wednesday, so I watered it this morning. As I was setting up my automatic sprinkler system….
C.: Isn’t your sprinkler system on an automatic timer?
d.: Yes, but, as I was saying, I wanted to water my grass a few days early, so I overrode the automatic timer and watered my yard this morning. It’s a good thing that I did because it’s about to storm.
C.: Yes, so please get to the point.
d.: Okay, as I was overriding my automatic timer on my automatic sprinkler system and setting up my hose to water my grass…
C.: d.c, if you have an automatic sprinkler system and you overrode the automatic timer, couldn’t you have just turned the sprinkler system on manually?
d.: ???!!!. I didn’t think of that. Anyway, as I was watering my yard….
C.: And why would you need to water your yard if it’s going to rain this afternoon?
d.: So I won’t miss the opportunity to water my yard. It’s supposed to rain for the next five days, and my automatic sprinkler system has an automatic cutoff it it’s too wet to put water on my grass, so I needed to water my yard this morning; before the rain came and cut off my sprinkler system.
C.: Why didn’t you just let the automatic cutoff cut the sprinkler system off then?
d.: ???!!! Anyway, as I was watering my yard by hand, I saw Tom the Tabby leaving your house with a fistful of one-dollar bills.
C.: Yes, and he gave me this C-note for them, but I was a few dollars shy, so he agreed to lend me the rest at seventeen percent interest compounded hourly I suppose I should see if any of the cage cleaners are on vacation so that I can earn so extra money. I don’t want to ask my husband, Tucker Tucker Two a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken for the money.
d.: Why not?
C.: Because Triple T and T don’t get along anymore, if he knew that I was dealing with Tom the Tabby, T would be mad at me.
d.: And with good reason.
C.: ??!!
d.: First, that’s a fake C-note.
And, secondly, did Tom keep asking you questions that involved numbers?
C.: Well, as a matter of fact, he did.
d.: Cal.E., he hustled you. But, I estimated that he had one-hundred twenty-seven ones in his hand when I saw him, so I called him into my yard (asking him to be careful not to step on my grass, of course). Then, I offered to sell him my truck for the money he had in his hands.
C.: But, d.c., you love your truck. Why would you offer to do that?
d.: I didn’t sell him the truck that I drive. I sold him this truck. Here’s your money back, and I’ll give Tom back his fake one hundred dollar bill. I’ll tell him that the tax, title, and license come to the exact amount of interest you owe him.
C.: One hundred -twenty-seven ones. Thanks, d.c., you’re a real pal. I’d like to thank you by….
Well, that’s all the time we have for today folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.