Ralph: a one, a two, a one two three four
There's a cat who leads a life of danger
To everyone she meets he stays a stranger
With every move she makes
Another chance she takes
Odds are she won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent cat, secret agent cat
They've given you a number
And taken away your name
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are she won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent cat, secret agent cat
They've given you a number
And taken away your name
Secret agent cat, secret agent cat
They've given you a number
And taken away your name
Elac: (My cousin and her husband think that I’m down here in Tahiti on vacation. That’s far from the truth, though. I was hired by the CIA to find that notorious criminal cat burglar only known as “The Tail.” (The) Cat Is Awful hired me to find this criminal and bring it to justice.
This cat is referred to as The Tail because no one has ever seen any other part of its body. Therefore, no one knows if The Tail is a tom cat or a queen cat, or what color its body is, only its tail. Word on the street is that The Tail now has an accomplice, though. Although an accomplice would be helpful with some of The Tail’s heists, it should also make the criminal easier to find.
The Tail is the best thief on the face of the earth. S/he takes the food from other cats while they aren’t looking and resales it on the pet market. Then, the humans that are charged with feeding the cats believe that the food in their pet’s bowls have been eaten, so the humans don’t feed their precious pets any more food.
That’s why I came down here to pose as an expert mouser and rat catching cat for this seaside bar. With the money that the CIA is willing to pay me for the capture and humane return of The Tail and its accomplice, I’ll be able to pay my cousin Cal.E.,
and her husband, Tucker Tucker Two a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken back for the kindness they’ve shown to me while on this planet. Then, they can hire servants again and put thier feet up and relax.
With what’s left, I should be able to repair my spacecraft and go back to my home planet, HTRAE.
There, I’ll be of more use, because Meow Z. Tongue, the supreme ruler of the cat galaxy is planning to overthrow Earth and take all its power to power his home planet, The Planet of the Talking Cats when it runs out of energy in one million (or one trillion, I’m not sure which) cat naps. The residents of that planet are too lazy to work, so no energy is ever generated. Only the natural energy supplied by the yellow sun is keeping that planet powered, and word is that it will cease to exists in one million (or one trillion) cat naps. But…the same sun powers Earth. So, if the energy goes out on POTTC, wouldn’t the same be true of Earth? How would Meow Z. Tongue and his galaxy benefit from stealing power from a planet that is powered by the same star when it ceases to exist? The answer is….
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E..’s Korner.
