Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: Hi, d.c. how are you doing?
d.: I’m fine as a frog hair, Cal.e., and you?
C.: I’m okay, but you seem to be in an unusually good mood today. May I ask why?
d.: Yes, you may. I got the closes parking space at the gym, so I didn’t need to walk very far to get in.
C.: Oh, was today a weightlifting day?
d.: No, it was a cardio day. I rode almost twenty-one miles on the stationary bike (and never moved an inch). Then I went to two stores and got the closest parking space at each one!
C.: Well, I thought that we were going to write our blog thirty minutes ago. If you parked so close to each of the buildings you were going to, why are you late?
d.: Because I needed to get in more steps, since I parked so close each time I stopped. I walked T. Puppy an extra one-half mile to get in more steps. She hadn’t been out in a few days due to the weather, so she really enjoyed it.
C.: Okay, that would be an extra ten minutes, maybe. That leaves twenty minutes unaccounted for.
d.: Well, then I got an inspiration to write. I wanted to write it down before I forgot what I was going to say.
C.: What’s the manuscript about?
d.: How to improve a runner’s time in a marathon.
C.: Well, that sounds like a good book to read, but it looks rather thin, may I read what you’ve written so far?
d.: Sure.
C.: HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR TIME IN A MARATHON, by d.c. scot. “Run faster.” Well, that would work, but would you like to expound on this?
d.: No, not really. I wanted to make it breif so that endurance athletes would have enough time to read it. I think this will be right up there with some of the other manuscripts I’ve written.
C.: Which ones?
d.: FORREST GREEN. It was a screenplay about a horticulturist that turned everything green, including his family. That didn’t sell, for some reason. So, then I wrote the screenplay PUNK FICTION. It was about a bunch of high school ne’er-do-wells who were trying to write the great American novel. When that didn’t sell, I wrote a screen play called STUDIO FIFTY. I was so close!
Since I couldn’t break into the screen writing industry, I turned to chemistry to make a living. I invented Formula 408 (I was really close again). Then, I invented the cleaning product Fabulous. Who knew that adding another syllable to its name would have made it sell? So, then I invented…
C.: Well, I’d love to hear more stories about how you’ve been dropkicked through the goalposts of life, d.c., but we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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