"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; the truth isn't." Mark Twain.
When I was a little bitty baby
My mama would rock me in the cradle
In them old cotton fields back home
It was down in Louisiana
Just about a mile from Texarkana
In them old cotton fields back home
Oh, when them cotton bolls get rotten
You can't pick very much cotton
In them old cotton fields back home
It was down in Louisiana
Just about a mile from Texarkana
In them old cotton fields back home
When I was a little bitty baby
My mama would rock me in the cradle
In them old cotton fields back home
It was down in Louisiana
Just about a mile from Texarkana
In them old cotton fields back home
Oh, when them cotton bolls get rotten
You can't pick very much cotton
In them old cotton fields back home
It was down in Louisiana
Just about a mile from Texarkana
In them old cotton fields back home
When I was a little bitty baby
My mama would rock me in the cradle
In them old cotton fields back home
It was down in Louisiana
Just about a mile from Texarkana
In them old cotton fields back home
In them old cotton fields back home
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Huddie Ledbetter
Cotton Fields lyrics © Bluewater Music Corp
C.: Hello, this is Cal.E. Kat, host of Cal.E.’s Korner. How may I be of service to you, ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual?
This is a call from the president…
C.: Of the United States?!?!
No, my name is Ben Dunn, and I’m the president of the AAKC.
C.: I’ve heard of the AKC. Are you associated with the American Kennel Association?
No, AAKC stands for Adorable Adoptable Kittens and Cats, and we want Mewo Z. Tongue to be our new spokescat.
Meow: What does the job pay?
It pays all the food you can eat, unlimited cat toys, and a roof over your head for as long as you live. All you must do is tell your story, so that other adorable kittens and cats will get adopted. What, may I ask, is your story? The thousands of veiwers watching my podcast would love to know.
C.: ( housands of veiwers? Well, this should be good. Meow’s an excellent liar).
M.: Well, I was born just outside of Texarkana, Arkansas, in a cotton field. My human parents were cotton picking migrants…
C.: Excuse me, but don’t they use combines to harvest cotton now?Â
M.: Yes, and that caused great hardship for my family. Those combine machines took the work away from my poor, uneducated human mom and dad. They only knew how to pick cotton, not any other crop. So, my human brothers turned to a life of crime to support our family’s habit.
C.: What habit, Meow?
M.: Eating….
C.: They must have been excellent at their work, then. What do you weigh, around 56 pounds?
M.: Yes, well, one of my human brothers got caught at his job…
C.: Doing what?
M.: He was a cat burglar. Sadly, the market had declined by then. There was little demand for cats anymore, since they’re in such abundance on this planet. My parents spent their whole life savings on a lawyer to defend my human brother…
C.: You do know that the court will appoint a public defender if the defendant is indigent, don’t you?
M.: Yes, well, with my human parents’ level of education, they weren’t aware of this. They starved to death after that because they couldn’t afford to eat. That left me and my other human brothers as orphans…
C.: But you’re almost three times the size of my husband, and he’s a large cat. How do you explain that?
M.: Er…I became an excellent mouser. You can see the results of my work! And I’ll be glad to keep the rodents at bay for any family that will adopt me.
That won’t be necessary (sniff). All you must do is tell that story to anyone who will listen. Then, we’ll get all our adorable adoptalbe kittens and cats adopted, and I’ll be out of a job! Oh, happy day!
C.: Well, it’s Ben real, but we’re Dunn for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.